It’s also important to differentiate between stress coming from the outside and stress that is self-imposed. For example, if you have not worn a size two dress since you were sixteen, it’s time to give up your dream of wearing a size two wedding gown. It’s also time to accept the reality that you cannot please everyone—which includes the two hundred guests you have invited, your soon-to-be mother-in-law, and your next-door neighbor. And the most important fact to accept: there is no such thing as perfection on this earth. So do not expect your wedding day to be perfect. Something can and will go wrong. And that is okay.

You can become the dazzling bride you dream of, without succumbing to Bride-zilla, by beginning now to manage your stress level.  I encourage you to use the business of this planning season to your advantage: delegate, simplify and accept reality.  It’s not just a good plan for your wedding, it’s a good plan for life!

Simplicity Made Simple

·         Use visual imaging to decrease wedding-planning stress. Instead of stressing out over a missed appointment with the caterer, imagine how wonderful you will feel as you walk down the aisle on your father’s arm. Envision yourself as a confident, radiant, and composed bride who is about to embrace love and joy. Let yourself daydream about all the things your future will bring.

·         Instead of arguing, communicate. Remember that your individual histories, and communication styles combined with your unique style of dealing with stress, anger, disappointment, and even joy all play a part in how you manage through the wedding planning process. Pre-marital counseling can be enormous help in teaching coping techniques and gaining perspective.

·         Keep a sense of humor. Getting worked up over every little thing is not going to make anything better. Besides, laughter is the best medicine, especially when it comes to dealing with stress. Stuff will happen but it need not cause stress. Keep things in perspective. Yes, your wedding day is a big deal—but it is not the rest of your life. Your marriage is. If something goes wrong on your wedding day, it will not be the end of the world.

·         Try some proven stress reducers suggested by the National Headache Foundation (http://www.headaches.org/). Get up fifteen minutes earlier in the morning. Simplify, simplify, simplify. Recognize that procrastination is stressful. Rather than putting off until tomorrow, do what you can today. Get enough sleep. Allow time for yourself—everyday—for privacy, quiet, and introspection (and prayer, my addition). Schedule a realistic day. Avoid the tendency to schedule back-to-back appointments. Do something you enjoy everyday. Keep a journal and write down your thoughts and feelings. It can help give you a renewed perspective.