My favorite wedding style is an informal one, because it simply allows you more flexibility to focus on what is most important to you. An informal wedding can take place anywhere you would like. A small church or chapel for 50–100 of your closest friends and family can be perfect. You could wear a long or a short wedding dress or simply your favorite pretty dress. Your veil shouldn’t be longer than elbow length for an informal wedding. And you should keep your attendant to one maid or matron of honor. The groom should also choose just one man for his attendant as well. The men can wear dark conservative suits or black tie if they prefer. Your invitations can be whatever you like, including handwritten. A simple buffet or light lunch or even afternoon tea with finger foods can be served.

If a big public affair is not your style, consider an intimate wedding. An intimate wedding is a charming small affair that can take place anywhere. Most home weddings are of this warm and personal nature. Your dress for an intimate wedding should basically reflect your own personality. If it’s your first wedding, then go ahead and wear your gown. If it’s a second wedding, then a street length dress or suit makes more sense.

Now, just because “etiquette” gives all these rules and regulations regarding each type of wedding, it doesn’t mean you have to follow them. They are simply suggestions. This is your day. That means you will take into consideration the opinion of those that matter to you, but in the end, you will do what your heart leads you to do.

The most important thing you can do is take some time to sit down with your fiancé and make a list of those things that are most important to each of you. Determine what is negotiable and what is not. Regardless of what the wedding planners and the retail and service providers want you to believe, there is no such thing as a perfect wedding.  And simplicity is still the ultimate sophistication, which is why I’ve written The Simple Wedding: A Faith-filled Guide to Enjoying a Stress-Free Wedding (GuidepostsBooks).

Most of us dream about our wedding day from the time we are young. In the end, the most important thing is that we feel beautiful, honored and cherished. When my husband asked me what was my most important expectation for our ceremony, I told him it was simply to feel cherished—and that part of the planning was left up to him. He met my expectations by singing to me. I can honestly say that I enjoyed my wedding day, and so did my husband, thanks to some ‘wedding style’ advance planning.

Your Wedding, Your Way

·         Consider the statement you want your wedding to make. Your wedding is not just a symbol of your love but also an expression of your personalities and what you esteem most in your relationship. Think about what you want your ceremony to say. What do you want your guests to remember about your wedding? Apply patience, persistence and creativity in devising a plan that will fulfill what both of you desire from your wedding experience.