Christians tend to use 'bad language'; our words are vulgar to the hearts of those in today's culture.
We struggle to make ourselves worthy, we become self-righteous. We use clever words, phrases and references that we don't even fully understand. Somehow we think, if we can come off sounding intelligent about spiritual things, then that will convince people to come to faith in Jesus. Our audio of "forced rhetoric" accomplishes the opposite.
What people don't understand, when we use our flowery language of 'Christianese' (This talk is nails down a chalk board), we actually condemn people. We push them to the edges of a relationship and in the process wear ego's performances over a love's sacrifice. We talk as if we are exclusive members of a religious social club, and the culture doesn't want a membership because of it.
I've been associated with some conversations that include secret hand-shakes, ceremonial jesters and those wonderful self-righteous 'rolling of the judgmental eyes'. Who are we kidding?
When we learn to talk for the purpose of relating in an real communication, then we can start to express our experiences with relational success. We need to focus on using 'real words', 'real phrases' and 'real adjectives' when we talk. It may involve some slang. Do we live enough inside of today's culture to know the language and communicate with ease?
Yes, more and more of today's culture is bi-lingual, but very few own a second language of 'Christianese'.
What they do understand is the language of sinners; the 'real talk' that relates with a hunger for grace, a deep need for community in the midst of a creation of dismay and hope. What they do understand is their spiritual hunger for more; an inner-voice who's volume is turned up by constant, relational love.
Often, when I'm attending a party, there will come a time during the night that the social drinking will take off some of the rough edges, and people will begin to get comfortable with each other. That's when the conversation really starts. I've been in some great discussions while attending a party, discussions that are blunt, direct and open about Jesus.
One of the most popular questions, usually the first when someone knows you as a Jesus follower, is, "What do you think about homosexuality?" Relax, it's a great launching point, but it holds many dangerous results if you're not careful to speak the language. Each person is ready for the rote (empty) phrases, the quick religious replies of 'homosexuality is a sin', and the lack of any compassion in representation of Jesus - a man they tend to admire for his love.
Here's a secret, don't address the question narrowly. Address it corporately, "We are all looking for an antidote of things that control us." It's not about the homosexual, or even the gossiper - it's about the grace of God for all of us called his creation, coming in a person called Jesus, who loves as we are and desires of In spite of ourselves.
If you desire to clear the room, and feel self-righteous over your orchestrated persecution, use your 'secret language'. If you care to communicate the situation of creation's sin induced decay, use real words with real meaning and understanding. But get ready, their will be more drinks served, and more people who crowd around to hear about love.
Paul talked about our language in his letter to the gang of followers in Corinth.
Paul told them that their spiritual language (I know we are talking about tongues here, but go with me) is confusion to those in the marketplace. He stated a fact, that if you really want to love people then you must communicate with people in a loving way;
"If you praise him in the private language of (confusing) tongues, God understands you but no one else does, for you are sharing intimacies just between you and him. But when you proclaim (in a real way) his truth in everyday speech, you're letting others in on the truth so that they can grow (to understand) and be strong and experience his presence ('realness') with you."
"So if you speak in a way no one can understand, what's the point of opening your mouth? There are many languages in the world and they all mean something to someone. But if I don't understand the language, it's not going to do me much good. It's no different with you. Since you're so eager to participate in what God is doing, why don't you concentrate on doing what help everyone..." (1 Corithians 13)
Not only should our lives be relevant, so should are language. You don't have to have all of the answers (we barely see through a glass), it's actually better to leave a few of the tougher questions of the table.
The goal is relationship, to speak with an experience of love for those who are looking for the love that changes lives inside a ragamuffin relationship with Jesus. Speak the culture's language...and if you must, use some words.
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