We need ministries based on a family model, but instead we usually see business, military, and sports models. Then the emphasis is on who is in charge, who wins, and who is the star. The church becomes competitive, focused on the individual and the bottom line. I don’t see these models in the New Testament. Instead we see a community based family model. It takes both men and women to create a family model.^[ii]

Working friendships bring complications. But healthy ministry requires community—a family serving God together. And friendships between men and women are part of the picture. Loving one another as siblings is not optional if we want to do God’s work God’s way—as a spiritual family of friends. If you are a male leader, how you view your sisters has a huge impact on the kind of ethos you create for sisters. It’s not just about your ideas on the role of women in ministry. It’s about whether or not you see women as sisters, precious and valuable as co-workers with you in ministry.

And if you are a woman, your views about men will make or break you in ministry. If you have issues with your father or anger over gender injustices, work them out before you attempt to serve in ministry. Because your personal view of men will color how you work with them, and unresolved issues will hinder your capacity to love them as your brothers.

The Bible instructs leaders to create a ministry ethos that feels like family. It begins with the leader and trickles down. And the ethos you create will directly influence how visitors view your church, and whether they decide to move on, or to stay and become part of your family.

^[ii] Dr. Michael Lawson, Chair and Senior Professor of Christian Education, Dallas Theological Seminary, from an interview on March 28, 2006.

This article is adapted from the authors' upcoming release Mixed Ministry: Working Together as Brothers and Sisters in an Oversexed Society (Kregel, 2008). Used by permission of the authors.

Sue Edwards, D.Min. (Gordon-Conwell Theological Seminary) is Assistant Professor of Christian Education at Dallas Theological Seminary. Her heartbeat is to reinforce ministry partnerships between men and women, which strengthen church and parachurch organizations locally and worldwide. She has 30 years of experience in Christian education and Bible teaching, directing women’s ministry, retreat and conference speaking, training teams and teachers, overseeing staff, and writing curriculum. As former pastor to women at her local church she experienced healthy men and women partnerships on staff, and her passion is to pass on what she has learned. She is the author of New Doors in Ministry to Women and Women’s Retreats: A Creative Planning Guide. Married to David, she especially enjoys romping with their four grandchildren. Dr. Edwards’s research and teaching interests include women’s epistemologies and leadership styles.

Kelley Mathews, Th.M. (Dallas Theological Seminary), married and blessed with three young children, spends her spare time freelancing as a writer and editor. She served several years as the Women’s Ministry Director at Rowlett Bible Fellowship. Her two coauthored books are New Doors in Ministry to Women  and Women’s Retreats: A Creative Planning Guide  (both from Kregel). She welcomes feedback at kmathews@newdoors.info . Please visit http://www.newdoors.info/ for more about Sue & Kelley's ministry.