After divorcing in my late 30s, I noticed the small church where I grew up seemed much emptier than I'd remembered. I still had many married friends there, but, of the church's 150 or so regular attenders, the few unmarried women were all college–aged. The same was true for other churches in the area: All my peers were married, and the singles were half my age.
My pastor suggested I contact a large sister church in nearby Boston to find out what was going on there for people my age. It was the best thing I ever did. They have an entire ministry for people my age. About 100 men and women, many of them single, are involved. I've made more friends in the past year than ever before.
I remain a member of my small church; I attend Sunday morning services and participate in ministry there. I also attend afternoon services in Boston, and take part in Bible studies and other activities with my friends there. Between the two churches, I have the best of both worlds.
–Dan
Finding activities for our singles group is difficult in a small town. There are only so many places to eat and things to see here. Many of our activities involve trips to other cities. Meeting new singles is also challenging in a small town because we've pretty much met everyone unless someone new moves in. Although our group tries to reach out to singles groups in surrounding towns, we haven't had much success.
However, being in such a small town lets us really get to know the singles in our group. We've been a support team for each other and become quite close as a result. We know we can always call each other if we need to pray, talk, or hang out with someone. For me, these blessings outweigh the limitations of a small town.
–Temeca
I grew up in a rural community, went to college in a city, and lived in Phoenix, Arizona, for years before moving to my current home, Washington, DC,. I've found living in the city much easier than living in the suburbs. In Phoenix, everyone lived in nicely planned communities and had a spouse, kids, a dog, and a pool. I was the odd woman out. After I left, all my friends who remained got married. Some admit they may have settled for a spouse who wasn't their first choice or wasn't God's best for them, perhaps due to the pressure of fitting in with the suburban lifestyle.
I lived in the suburbs when I first moved to the DC area. I constantly came into the city to attend singles functions. I also sought out a church in the city because I'd found suburban churches barely had singles ministries, and everyone there prayed for me to get married. My suburban church also wasn't very service oriented; it had a health and fitness ministry for moms, but no ministries for those in the surrounding community.
I love living in the city. I'm constantly at live music events, museums, theater productions, and festivals where other singles, not just families, attend. I'm not anti–family; I desire to be married and have children. But I'm not married, and I don't need the suburbs' constant reminder of that fact.
–Sherrie
I live in a small community about 30 miles from a city of 300,000 people. Even though housing prices are reasonable in the city, the cost is much lower in my rural town. Plus it has less crime and friendlier neighbors.
Because meeting singles in a small community is difficult, I belong to a Christian singles group in the city. And if I go to church for any reason other than to praise God, I'll always be disappointed.
–Tim
I live in the suburbs for the peace and quiet. If I were still in my early 20s, I might want to live in an urban environment to be near other singles and the nightlife, arts and culture, expensive shoe shopping, and ridiculously overpriced lattes singles typically enjoy. However, as a 30something single, I'd rather have the choice of driving 15–20 minutes into the city to dine, dance, and shop, or of staying home in the quiet.
