At the very beginning of history God said, "'Let us make man in our image, in our likeness' … So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them" (Genesis 1:26-27).
It was in God's plan from the moment He imagined us to make us different from each other. Our differences can be a starting point for building fulfilling relationships. Unfortunately, what was intended to be an advantage often turns out to be a universal source of frustration. Because we are all experientially familiar with the turmoil of relationships, we easily laugh at stories like this one:
Mel's son rushed in the door. "Dad! Dad!" he announced. "I got a part in the school play!"
"That's terrific," Mel said proudly. "What part is it?"
"I play the part of the dad."
Mel thought this over. "Go back tomorrow," he instructed, "and tell them you want a speaking role."
Despite the frustration, the vast majority of us have an undeniable desire to have great relationships with the opposite sex. We want both male and female friends; we want successful business relationships with both men and women; and we want to meet just the right person, fall in love, and live "happily ever after."
But many singles have become frustrated trying to bridge the gender gap. We asked some singles to suggest titles for this book. Here are a few of the responses:
Why Aren't You Married Yet?
Why Should I Make the First Move?
Danger! Caution! Ouch!
It's Not That Bad if You Know What You're Getting Into!
Good Luck! You'll Need It!
It's Not Me—It's You!
It's Going to Take a Lot More Than a Book to Help Me!
Is This as Good as It Gets?
Hold Your Nose and Jump In
It Doesn't Have to be Terrible
Face It—There's No One for You!
You're Not Alone!
It's a Whole New World!
I Stink at Dating!
Shouldn't I Be Married by Now?
But All My Friends Are Married
Stick a Fork in My Eye (And 100 Other Fun Things to Do on a Friday Night)
How to Scare a Great Person Away After Just One Date
Seems the emotions are running high in this whole guy–girl thing. One suggested title sums up the ultimate question rather succinctly: Can Male/Female Relationships Really Work in the New Millennium?
The answer, of course, is yes.
How is a bit more difficult.
Knowing that men and women are so different, how can you have healthy, happy relationships with the opposite sex that actually work? And how can you create an atmosphere in your life that helps you relate to someone of the opposite sex—someone who might turn into the love of your life?
Although it's possible to make too much out of the differences between men and women, it's also possible to not make enough out of the differences. If you want to have relationships that add to your life rather than make you exhausted, the best place to start is with an understanding of the basic uniqueness each gender brings to relationships.
So how are you to understand the differences between men and women? Put simply: Men are like waffles, women are like spaghetti. At first, this may seem silly, but stay with us. It's an analogy that works, and men "get it" (because it involves food).
Men Are like Waffles
By this statement we don't mean that men "waffle" on decisions and are generally unstable. What we mean is that men process life in boxes. If you look at a waffle, you see a collection of boxes separated by walls. The boxes are all separate from each other and make convenient holding places. These boxes resemble how a man typically processes life. His thinking is divided up into boxes that have room for one issue and one issue only. The first issue of life goes in the first box, the second goes in the second box, and so on. The typical man then spends time in one box at a time and one box only. When a man is at work, he's at work. When he's in the garage tinkering around, he's in the garage tinkering. When he's watching TV, he's simply watching TV. That's why he can look like he's in a trance and ignore everything else going on around him. Social scientists call this "compartmentalizing"—putting life and responsibilities into different compartments.
