I firmly believe that to get more single men into church, active involvement and personal investment by older men is critical. Not only do many TV ads label straight men as buffoons, but many boys and young men growing up in society today have few role models of godly manhood. I think we women can plead endlessly for men to come to church and/or get involved without much success. Most men, however, are focused on developing a career and a life. I think men would be much more significantly convicted if a Christian man in their profession (or one simply further along in career/life) came alongside them to advise them in career, life, and how to grow into being a strong man of God. Now those are men who would send my heart "pitter-pattering!"
Of course such investment by older men requires a sacrifice. I hope it's one they're willing to make for the future of the church, God's people, and their own daughters.
Rebecca
I've felt the same gender imbalance, but in reverse—there are so few Christian women in my area. Actually, I should qualify that by saying there are few single Christian women in or near my age who are interested in somebody who isn't some form of Super Christian or pastor-type person—handsome, outgoing, funny, quick-witted. These aren't bad things, but this leaves an Average Joe like myself feeling as though there are no women out there.
This may be unique to my church, but we have maybe a 3 to 1 ratio of successful single guys to successful single women in the 20 to 30 age group. Of those who are single guys I've noticed a few trends, which might have more to do with our single status than the lack of good Christian women. First is that most of us tend to be the quiet type. Though we're present at church, we may not say hello to somebody new because of our shyness. Personally, this is my difficulty. The second trend has its roots in the first, in that most of us single men tend to prefer supporting roles instead of those onstage in the limelight. We'd rather work the sound room than lead worship. Unfortunately, this decreases our visibility.
I wonder if the dilemma is that there aren't many single Christian men or if it's really that there aren't many outgoing, highly visible, Super Christian single men. In other words, do Christian women tend to notice shy, quiet guys who sit in the back or are we overlooked when it comes to calculating the single men to single women ratio?
Jon
The topic of a shortage of single men in our churches hit home for me. I'm a Christian woman in my early 30's and lead the singles group at my church. The male/female ratio has always been very disproportionate for us. While I've always tried to keep our group focused on God to prevent it from turning into a "meet market," it's concerned me that very few men ever attend. Many single men in their 20s and 30s seem much more interested in their careers than in spiritual matters.
Not having a better balance of men and women in our group has really affected us. There's a completely different dynamic that happens in a group when things are more balanced. I know men can contribute a lot to a group and we miss out on that. Not only that, but the men who are in our group don't get the support they need because the strong Christian males just aren't there. I've often wondered how to change things. So I pose a question to the men out there. What can we do to help? I'd like to know what we can do to reach out to our Christian brothers and even to non-believing men who are seeking. Are there any specific strategies we can use to target them? As a woman, I need a male perspective that I don't really have access to otherwise.
Barb
