I dated someone five years younger than myself, and it did not work. But I think that had more to do with the fact we were both in our 20s at the time. Most of us pre–26ish don't realize how little we know about ourselves and life in general, and maybe that's why I felt more like he wanted a mom than a girlfriend.
During the post–breakup relationship analysis, my good friend and then–roommate told me she always imagined me with someone 15 years older than me because I'm such a "mature and serious person." I'm not sure I could date someone that much older than me. I'd feel like I have a flashing neon sign over my head that said "father issues."
However, I have two friends in good marriages who are both eight years older than their respective husbands. So maybe age has less to do with it than life experience. Younger guys who've survived tough times can be incredibly mature and insightful. And, of course, how serious you are about your relationship with God can affect a lot of growth.
I'm trying not to look at guys by their age or their "marriable status" anymore. I just want to be in love with the Lord and find a man who finds that as attractive as I'd find it in him.
Danielle
Age, in and of itself, is quite an insignificant dating factor in my thinking and experience. I'm looking for a certain set of moral standards, values, priorities, and such—and don't really care how many times the sun has gone round this planet since she first started breathing.
One "must have" in my book is a desire for children—as many as God would choose to give us. That tends to narrow the "field" to those in their mid–30s or younger —but I'd certainly be open to an older woman who's no longer able to bear children but who's interested in adopting a handful. The trouble is, most women too old to have children simply don't want to now—if they ever did.
But fertility aside, I've observed that age isn't much of a factor when it comes to maturity, responsibility, servant–heartedness, an ability to "roll with the punches," willingness to stand up to adversity, and a heart for hospitality. Since those are the most important relationship factors to me, why cross someone off the list of possibilities simply on the basis of too many or too few years on this earth? Besides, none of us have any guarantees that we—or our spouse—will survive for any particular length of time.
I think anyone contemplating marriage and getting uppity about the age of a potential mate should examine what it is they believe marriage is all about. I would think their priorities and understanding of marriage need some realignment with God's Word. It's the heart that matters, not the packaging, nationality, or age.
Nick
I just got married, and my husband is 6 ½ years younger than me. When we met, he was 22 ½ and I'd just turned 29.We were attracted to one another, but I played it off as fun. I'd think to myself, A 22 year old likes me! Ha! I'd be kept awake at night thinking of him, and then laugh at myself in the morning thinking of how silly I was.
Despite my reservations, he pursued me diligently. We hung out a lot, for ministry–related events and just for fun. He asked me two separate times to be his girlfriend, and I said no. I liked him, but I couldn't keep the age thing out of my mind. After I turned him down the second time, I knew I needed to reconcile my feelings for him versus the age issue. I spent the week praying and seeking the advice of godly women. At the end of the week, I felt God giving me the green light. I remember sitting at my desk at work thinking, I'm going to go for this!It was an exhilarating and freeing thought.
