I, who leave the tags in new clothes on the first wearing in case things don't work out and I want to take something back, could probably stand to practice a little commitment on occasion by saying "yes, I'll be at that retreat" well before I need to board the bus to get there. And thus practice letting my yes be yes and my no, no (Matthew 5:37).
I'm learning in ministry pursuits when to speak up about a singles issue and when to hold my tongue so that my words don't fall on deaf ears as others might simply think, There she goes beating the single drum again. I'm also striving to let my actions communicate more than my words at times—by showing up, taking part, serving alongside. I'd rather let my actions show we singles to be active, serving participants than my words to mark us as whiny and demanding.
And I'm realizing afresh that Christ doesn't call us to comfort, he calls us to character. And in showing up and being a vital part of a community—even when it's awkward or isolating or exhausting—we can learn and practice commitment, grace, discipline, forgiveness, unconditional love, and sacrifice. We get to practice being the friend who "loves at all times" (Proverbs 17:17) and to work out the fruits of the spirit of faithfulness—being committed to whatever community God's called us to and not ditching when things get tough—and patience—bearing with one another in love instead of defensive protestations. After all, the body of Christ isn't a country club but a classroom, where we learn to love, grow, and be more like Christ.
Sure, sometimes we need to cut ourselves some slack and stay home, and sometimes we need to speak the truth about we single folks … in love. But when God calls us to, we also sometimes need to show up—or silently, lovingly listen in for what he wants to speak into a situation.
As for me, tonight I'm unashamedly taking my store–bought lemon tart (it's what's realistic for me today) and walking through the doors of my church—where I'll no doubt find lots of young families, numerous covered dishes, and a needed opportunity for God to shape my heart.
We welcome your feedback and brainstorms at: SinglesNewsletter@ChristianityToday.com
