One thing I find truly annoying are the people who present themselves as Christians but then post less-than-chaste pictures with their profile. Some Christian sites screen things like this, but others don't. I've come across male profiles where they're posing with their shirts off. We may like how you look, but we're really interested in whether or not you have anything of substance on the inside (and yes, I know that goes both ways!).
Second thing, please be honest about the type of relationship you're looking for. If you say you're looking for friends, then don't send messages to people you think are "more than friends" material. One guy sent me a message, and his profile said he was looking for friends. When we started communicating, I let him know upfront that I was talking with someone else as well, but that I'd love to get to know him as a friend. The guy never wrote me back.
Overall, I met some wonderful people online, as well as my current boyfriend. So prayerfully step outside of the box, and see what God does!
-Jocelyne
My suggestions from a female perspective—and I've seen all of these:
Don't overshare. At this stage, we don't need to know that the most influential person in your life is your therapist (even if that's the truth).
Avoid Christian clichés. For example, referencing the Proverbs 31 woman to describe yourself if you're female or what you're looking for if you're male. If you're a Christian, this is likely a given.
If you're asked to list the book you most recently read, don't list any of the following: 1) comics 2) a true-crime book about a serial killer (while it may be OK for females to mention, not good for a man to mention) 3) "I don't read books" – I don't know anyone who would find this appealing 4) The Bible – again, on a Christian site, this is probably a given.
If asked about TV or movies, think about it – revealing your affinity for Beavis and Butthead or possessing all the Police Academy movies isn't necessarily a good thing from a female perspective.
Do not post photos of yourself with another female unless you specifically spell out it's your sister. Worse is when you post a photo of yourself and it's obvious "someone" has been cut out of the photo. Choose another photo. And men really shouldn't post photos of themselves bare-chested – major ick factor for me. (And because of the nature of the internet, it's probably wise not to post photos of you with your child/children, no matter how cute they are.)
And related to all this, if you're going to venture into online-dating land, please stop your "matches" or take down your profile if you're in a relationship! It's fairly easy to do, and it's the nice thing to do for those being matched to you or perusing your profile. In other words, please don't get my hopes up and waste my time. I get so frustrated when I indicate interest in someone and the response is, "I'm in a relationship." Well, if you are, you probably shouldn't be reviewing your matches on this site!
-Jane
When using some online introduction (okay, "dating") services for a few months, I was surprised by the many profiles with careless writing: misspelled words, problems with English usage, etc. That seems to be how Generation Xers write (I'm a Baby Boomer myself); but it doesn't make a very good first impression about the writer's intellect and motivation.
Another problem with many profiles (which is virtually mandated by some online services) is that they don't give a realistic idea about what kinds of outside-of-work activities the person actually does. You may enjoy sitting on a Florida beach and feeling a warm, gentle breeze while sipping your favorite beverage and reading the latest novel by your favorite mystery writer, but how often do any of us get a chance to do that? My advice is to describe what you actually do in your spare time (if you have any), as well as the kinds of work (paid and/or volunteer) you do. That will give an idea whether someone of the opposite "persuasion" might enjoy being with you.
-David
