Beating the Christmas Cinderella Syndrome – One Day at a Time!

Sharon Betters, MARK Inc. Ministries
Tuesday, December 10, 2002

Let Go of Unrealistic Expectations
Too often we allow the media to define the perfect Christmas. Such a perfect season is incomplete without softly falling snow, piles of packages, food beyond our ability to consume, free flowing liquor, and a table surrounded by happy, happy people. Jesus is absent from this picture of warmth and "love". Or we have a special childhood Christmas memory with which we compare every other Christmas. For some, Christmas memories are painful and they are determined that their children will experience Christmas in a way they never did. Or they try to ignore Christmas altogether. Unrealistic expectations lead to major disappointments. The brother who makes fun of your gifts, the critic who has a better way to do everything ("Why are you mashing the potatoes THAT way?"), the alcoholic mother who always shows up drunk, disrespectful children or adult children who don't get along. They aren't going to change so that you can have a perfect day! Change the things you can, accept the things you can't. Remember the reason for the season. Expect people to act as they always do! The presence of Jesus in the hearts of His children equips us to reflect His love and compassion when others disappoint us. Spend extra time with Him when you know you will be around people who are difficult. Ask Him to help you be a picture of His peace. Memorize specific scripture and ask Him to remind you of it when you are tempted to forget the "reason for the season".

Intentionally Extend God's Compassion
Ask God who He wants you to touch with His love. Perhaps this is the year to plan a neighborhood Christmas celebration where you serve light refreshments and have a friend share a brief testimony of God's transforming love.

Take Time to Play!
Ask yourself, "Am I fun to live with?" Would you want to spend time with you? Are you reflecting the love of Christ in the dailiness of life? Are you nice to the clerk who is slower than molasses going up a hill in the winter and you are in a hurry? If not, ask the Lord to extend your sense of humor and to help you enjoy even the most mundane tasks. Make a private game out of surprising store clerks with a nice hello or heart felt thank you.

Guess what? If everything isn't done, you can still relax! Sit and read or play a game with your little ones. It's not the pile of gifts that will create the satisfaction in a child - it's the relationship. Laugh and giggle about silly things. Take a walk and breathe in the creation of God. Play in the snow! Surprise a friend with a batch of homemade cookies and invite them to walk around the neighborhood and enjoy the lights.

When you're tempted to voice discontent, choose to be thankful instead. Refuse to feel sorry for yourself. Are you alone? Ask God to bring to mind someone else who is alone and invite them to join you for a meal or a trip to the mall.

Perhaps the best way to experience joy is to give joy away. Ask God to show you a way to share His love with someone who needs a special touch from Him. Joy and ministry to others are linked. Joy comes when we know we are serving our Savior by serving others.

Take Time Out to Pray
When Jesus got busy, Jesus slowed down. He deliberately withdrew for a while (Mark 1:37-39). He invites us to come to His fire for refreshment. To stay focused on Christmas, read the Christmas account in the gospels or do a study of the women in the genealogy of Christ. Study the Magnificat, the song that Mary sang in response to Elizabeth's words. Memorize several verses to remind You of God's love and great gift of His Son, Jesus.

The Christmas Cinderella Syndrome
We have a choice this year. Experience genuine anxiety - the inability to cope with stress and miss Christmas altogether. Or when you feel like a Christmas Cinderella and things are getting out of hand, choose to do as this unknown writer expressed: