He truly was a wonderful man and we are all going to miss him. Lauren, now let's talk about the book. I'll have to be honest; when I first heard your concept I thought, "This could be morbid." But when I received the book I was, quite simply, blown away...EVERY Christian needs this book. So, let me ask you: What made you want to write it?
Potentially, everyone fears reaching out to hurting people. We feel ill equipped and uncomfortable to be in the presence of their pain. Yet, that is exactly what our family and friends need from us. They need our presence and willingness to walk beside them through their difficult time. When you have the tools and confidence of knowing what to say and how to help, we can enter a difficult situation more prepared to help. I found that during my darkest hours, no one knew how much I was hurting, what I was going through or how they might help...that I was not unusual.
You begin the book with a few words from your journal, dated September 10, 2001. Can you share them?
I remember to this day exactly where I was sitting and what I was doing when I wrote those words. I was sitting at a table on my patio organizing my research for the book when I wrote: This is a book you'll want to read before you need it-so that you will have ideas of what you can do and how you can respond-when you first hear the news.
Obviously that was one day before our greatest tragedy as a nation. How do you think 9-11 changed us when it comes to compassion?
I believe we are a caring and compassionate nation, when we are aware of major tragedies, it is in our heart to respond and want to help. 9-11 was the epitome of such a feeling. Yet, all of our lives began to go back to normal, while the victims families are left with the emptiness and struggles without their loved ones. A recent article on the mothers of 9-11 who were pregnant struck me. Their babies are now 18-months old. It is hard to believe so much time has passed. They live with the loss of the babies' daddy every day, while my life has continued relatively unchanged.
There are four sections in your book: Personal Crisis, Health Needs, Loss, and Continued Support (prayer, gifts, and recipes). Give us examples of the first three.
Examples of personal crisis are: Caring for an Elderly Parent, Having an Estranged Child, Loss of a Job, or Divorce and Single Parenting. Even within the church we have a high rate of divorce, which often leads to single parenting. Health needs include: Surgery, Chronic Illness, Children with Special Needs and Infertility. In this section I included a chapter on Difficult Decisions. Scientific advances in today's medical knowledge have forced us to make decisions we have never had to make in the past. It is not for us to tell someone else what to do at such a time. As their support community however, we need to provide loving support without a hint of judgment. Loss can be: Loss of a Child, Spouse, Parent, Home, Pet, etc.