Every growing Christian wants to see his or her unbelieving spouse move on to godly changes. Not the kinds of manipulative changes that we want to see for our own benefit, but rather the kinds of transforming changes that will ultimately glorify God and bring Christlike joy into our homes. Unless God makes the changes they won’t work, or if they do, they won’t last.

If anyone knew how to motivate his spouse to godly changes, it was certainly the Apostle Peter. Not only was he married (1 Corinthians 9:5) and therefore well acquainted with the gutsy reality of marital life, he also understood about failure from the inside out! He had failed the Lord on many occasions and then had actually denied Him three times in His most critical hour. But the good news is that the Lord not only restored Peter, He motivated him to godly changes. The Lord transformed his life from the inside out.

What can the great fisherman teach us about how to motivate our spouse to godly changes? Actually, the Apostle Peter addressed this specific matter in his first letter, in 1 Peter 3:1-7. First, he instructs Christian wives on how to motivate their husbands to godly changes (vv. 1-6). And then he instructs Christian husbands on how to motivate their wives to godly changes (v. 7).

1. Motivate Your Spouse Through Your Walk With God

Peter opens his instructions to Christian wives with the phrase, “In the same way, you wives” (v. 1). “In the same way” as what? “In the same way” as Jesus (1 Peter 2:21-25). He has left His own footprints in the sands of time in order that we might follow Him in the midst of hard times, especially from those who have rejected the Gospel, be that person our spouse or others. In fact, that is exactly what Peter goes on to say in the rest of 1 Peter 3:1:

In the same way, you wives, be submissive to your own husbands so that even if any of them are disobedient to the word, they may be won without a word by the behavior of their wives.

The operative phrase in Peter’s instructions is the phrase, “disobedient to the word.” He has described such a person earlier in his letter (1 Peter 2:8). This is one who refuses to believe in the good news of the Gospel, that is, an unbeliever. It is not that he has not heard the Gospel and therefore is ignorant of the truth. But rather, having heard the Gospel, he is “disobedient to the word.”