They’re starting again. Smooth voiceovers with flowing music. Hints about ‘finding love’ and ‘following your heart.’ I try and avoid them, but they’re everywhere. The click of a champagne glass, the fluttering of rose petals. And people – those beautiful, perfect people. To my abject horror, I am watching “The Bachelorette” again.
Back when ABC's "The Bachelor" franchise began, I was fascinated that so many women would vie for the attention of one man, waiting to be rejected in front of millions of Americans. Then, as the show progressed, I was astonished. Did they really think they could find true love this way? Would they marry after just six weeks? And would it work?
After four seasons, we now know that the answer is a resounding, “No!” But, you say, what about Trista and Ryan, the only couple who did marry (season three, the first "Bachelorette")? Well, one million dollars can be pretty persuasive – just like the couture gowns, diamond-studded shoes, champagne reception and honeymoon ABC also purchased ("Trista & Ryan's Wedding," which aired in November). I also can’t help but wonder if the former Miami Heat cheerleader will annul this marriage, like she did her first one. After all, when she herself was a romantic hopeful on the first season of the "Bachelor," she continued seeing bachelor Alex after he had chosen Amanda instead. According to Amanda, it was Alex’s secret relationship with Trista that led to their demise.
Of course, Alex and Amanda weren’t the only “Bachelor” couple to implode. Aaron, the second bachelor, dumped Helene just days after the show’s finale, while sipping coffee in Starbucks. The twice-engaged but never-married banker nevertheless claims that he “takes his engagements very seriously.” All of them. Very seriously.
Andrew, the third bachelor and heir to the Firestone fortune, stayed with Jen the longest – seven months. But, the Minneapolis Star reported that he had spent his promotional tour trying to pick up other women. Bachelor Bob (number four), who hardly demonstrated chivalry to begin with, broke up with Estella over the phone after the couple attended Trista and Ryan’s wedding. Not exactly romantic.
So why am I hooked?
The word “romantic” appears throughout the website and in every commercial for the series, which has come to be known for its signature “rose ceremony.” We see contestants riding on hot air balloons, helicopters and horses, their hair blowing in the breeze, their eyes full of secrets. They stroll along beaches, eat dinner under the stars and cuddle in front of roaring fires. They enjoy restaurants, clubs and sporting arenas. They vacation in romantic inns where always, the candlelit, rose-strewn “fantasy suite” awaits them. And, let’s not forget the ubiquitous hot tub.
As outwardly romantic as these scenes are, however, they are not the ultimate draw. Somewhere in my heart, I am forced to admit that, despite the rare appearance of roses, horses and hot tubs in my own life, when I watch “The Bachelorette,” I feel reassured. For, as tempted as I am by the fantasy, I also know the reality – and the pain – that awaits these hopeful men and women.
This is reality television, and in real life, people do date multiple partners at the same time, hoping to find “the one.” But intimacy, like love, comes only when people make the risk-filled choice to share their hearts and lives with one another – exclusively and without thought as to what else might be out there. It’s a choice I must make every day as a married woman. Fortunately, my husband chooses to as well.
