Do you know someone who is extremely critical? Regardless of what the situation may be, she always manufactures something negative to say. Seemingly oblivious to her own negativity, she lives with very little joy and peace, meandering through life with a "glass is half empty" mentality.
What is the source of such pessimism? Why can't negative people see beyond flaws and imperfection, and, instead, focus on the positive aspects of life?
Usually, this type of defeatist attitude results from a poor self-image. Overly critical, negative people will oftentimes project onto others the same feelings they have about themselves. Sadly, this attitude of inadequacy seeps into their spiritual lives, hindering healthy relationships with God by causing them to hold an erroneous view of Him.
In 1 Corinthians, Paul sets the model for self-image when he humbly states, "I am the least of the apostles, and not fit to be called an apostle, because I persecuted the church of God. But by the grace of God, I am what I am" (15:9-10). On one hand, Paul realizes that he is a sinner, but, at the same time, he understands that the grace of God makes him a new creation-forgiven and in the process of being conformed to the image of Christ.
The question is-what are the characteristics of a positive self-image? A person with a positive view of himself is aware of his strengths and weaknesses, is open and honest, can say "I love you" without hesitation, can voice his opinion without fear of criticism or retaliation. Most importantly, though, he accepts himself-scars, blemishes, and all-because God first accepted him. (1 John 4:19)
On the other hand, someone with a negative self-image doesn't trust himself or others, questions his ability, suffers from a "persecution complex" (i.e., "Everyone is out to get me!"), is scared to open up, always wears a "mask"-so as not to let others in on his flaws-and usually feels as though God determines his worth by how much good he accomplishes, resulting in a "workaholic" mentality.
Now that we know the different outward displays of self-image, both good and bad, what are some of the reasons for having an unhealthy view of ourselves?
First on the list is, of course, sin. Many times, sin causes us to fall into a guilt trap. We look at our flaws and we ask, "How can God help me with this sin in my life?" Guilt begins a process of self-deterioration that will slowly wear on your mind over a long period of time.
Another reason for a negative self-image is the "overachievement trap." The person with this mindset believes that he must prove his worth to God through works. In order to feel worthy to God, he believes he needs to accomplish something "great." If, and when, he reaches that milestone, he sets the bar higher and higher until he eventually burns out.
Our unwillingness to accept criticism also hinders our ability to move toward a positive self-image. A man with a godly view of himself decides whose approval he wants-God's or the world's. From there he chooses to live for the Lord and the issue is settled. As long as we live, there will always be someone who criticizes us. We simply cannot be everything to everybody. (1 Corinthians 9:22)
Finally, one of the most harmful causes of a poor self-image is an erroneous view of Scripture. In Philippians 2, Paul's call of "death to self" doesn't mean that we are to no longer value or have worth within ourselves. Many times, this Scripture passage can be distorted, causing some Christians to view themselves as worthless.
Philippians 2 simply calls for us to view ourselves from God's point of view. Paul is asking us, as believers, not to use others as a stepping-stone for our own personal gain, while, also, striving to humble ourselves to the point that Christ humbled Himself. This is just one small example of how Scripture can be erroneously interpreted, resulting in a poor self-image.
