Social scientists debate the significance of this new phenomenon. Some see this trend towards delayed adulthood as a good thing. Advocates for the trend suggest that these young Americans are simply enjoying the benefits won by advocates of social liberation. Furthermore, they have grown up in a culture of affluence that has afforded them unprecedented options, creature comforts, and security. They simply do not want to enter the more insecure world of adult responsibility.
Jeffrey Arnett, who sees what he calls "emerging adulthood" as a positive trend, teaches developmental psychology at the University of Maryland. These unsettled young Americans are simply taking their time to focus on adult responsibility. "This is the one time of their lives when they're not responsible for anyone else or to anyone else," he argues. "So they have this wonderful freedom to really focus on their own lives and work on becoming the kind of person they want to be."
In other words, Arnett sees delayed adulthood as a new social phenomenon that allows self-centered Americans even more time to focus on themselves while "not responsible for anyone else or to anyone else." Of course, what Arnett celebrates, others see as the very heart of the problem.
After all, what are these young people doing during this stage of "emerging adulthood?" Well, they're having a lot of sex, for one thing. Obviously, social trends point to demographic generalities, not to every individual in this age cohort. Still, even TIME registered surprise at the sexual attitudes of these unmarried twenty and thirty-somethings.
The delay of marriage is the most significant statistical marker. The average age of first marriage for a white American male is now almost 28--a full six years later than just a few decades ago. This trend is not uniquely American. The average age for a man's first marriage in Canada is 28, in England 29.7. Germany and Italy come in with even higher ages, 30.3 and 30.5 respectively.
This delay in assuming marital commitment and responsibility does not mean a delay in sexual activity. As Grossman explains, "Marrying late also means that twixters tend to have more sexual partners than previous generations. The situation is analogous to the promiscuous job-hopping behavior."
The six twenty-somethings Grossman introduced in his opening paragraph all indicate an interest in marriage--but not anytime soon. "It's a long way down the road," said Marcus Jones. "I'm too self involved. I don't want to bring that into a relationship now." As he joked to Grossman, "My wife is currently a sophomore in high school."
In a similar vein, Jennie Jing, 26, commented, "I want to get married but not soon. I'm enjoying myself. There's a lot I want to do by myself still." Kate Galantha isn't sure about marriage at all: "I fantasize more about sharing a place with someone than about my wedding day. I haven't seen a lot of good marriages."
Economic factors are undoubtedly at play in this new social phenomenon. Economists argue that wages for young adults are simply not keeping pace with the larger economic context, and most young adults lack confidence that job prospects will sustain them through their adult years. So, they go back to live with their parents, returning to a state of extended adolescence that western cultures simply have never seen before.
Looking at this from a biblical perspective, the most tragic aspect of this development is the fact that these young people are refusing to enter into the adult experience and adult responsibilities that is their Christian calling. The delay of marriage will exact an undeniable social toll in terms of delayed parenthood, even smaller families, and more self-centered parents. The experiences of marriage and raising children are important parts of learning the adult experience and finding one's way into the deep responsibilities and incalculable rewards of genuine adulthood.
