The Results of Parentification

This drive for independence is common among children of divorce simply because it is a forced reaction to the lack of both a mother and a father in the home.

"Divorce forced them [children] to become adults, sometimes before they became teens," Stanton explained.

Focus on the Family freelance writer Sonja Rose drew similar conclusions in an article about parentification titled, "Helping Children Survive Divorce." "Parentification is a role reversal of parent and child, and it can happen in all families, not just single-parent homes," Rose said. "Alcoholism, drug addiction or absent parents can contribute to a child's parentification."

Not only is parentification an unhealthy way to walk through childhood, but it is also the cause of long-lasting problems when it continues over an extended period of time, according to Rose.

These long-term effects of divorce on children are detailed in the findings of author-researcher Judith Wallerstein in her book titled, The Unexpected Legacy of Divorce: A 25 Year Landmark Study.

She found that children of divorce "endured more depression, greater learning difficulties, more aggression towards parents and teachers and were two to three times more likely to be referred for psychological help at school than their peers from intact families."

Even more startling is Wallerstein's finding that the effects of divorce have their greatest impact on adults in their 20s and 30s as the effects cumulate and crescendo into this new phase of life.

Americanvalues.org summarizes part of Walleterstein's findings: "Young Americans who grew up in divorced or remarried families have run into an unexpected set of difficulties in adulthood as they form their own intimate relationships, start families or remain childless and, in too many cases, struggle through their own divorces ...."

For Deibler, some of these difficulties are all too real, especially as he and his wife strive to be the generation that puts an end to divorce in his family.

Although Deibler believes "divorce is a death that keeps dying," he and his wife are intent on suffocating any breath Satan may be gasping for in the realm of their relationship. They are not only doing this for their own sake but for the sake of their one-year-old son, Hutch.

"I don't want him to have fear and anxiety of his folks splitting up," Deibler said.

In fact, both Deibler and Jennifer resolved to not even say the word "divorce" in their home to prevent Satan from gaining a foothold in their family.

A Premise of Generational Sin

After all, "If your folks are divorced, it's more likely that you'll get a divorce," Deibler said. "Children from broken families tend to marry later, yet divorce more often than those from intact homes," Kirn explained of Wallerstein's findings.