Tell Him your greatest need. Trust Him to keep the promise of His presence, that He will never forsake His children. And trust that His presence is enough.

O holy night, the stars are brightly shining;
It is the night of the dear Savior's birth!
Long lay the world in sin and error pining,
Till He appeared and the soul felt its worth.
A thrill of hope, the weary soul rejoices,
For yonder breaks a new and glorious morn.
Fall on your knees, O hear the angel voices!
O night divine, O night when Christ was born!
O night, O holy night, O night divine!
Led by the light of faith serenely beaming,
With glowing hearts by His cradle we stand.
So led by light of a star sweetly gleaming,
Here came the wise men from Orient land.
The King of kings lay thus in lowly manger,
In all our trials born to be our Friend!
He knows our need - to our weakness is no stranger.
Behold your King; before Him lowly bend!
Truly He taught us to love one another;
His law is love and His Gospel is peace.
Chains shall He break for the slave is our brother
And in His Name all oppression shall cease.
Sweet hymns of joy in grateful chorus raise we,
Let all within us praise His holy Name!
Christ is the Lord! O praise His Name forever!
His pow'r and glory evermore proclaim!
translated by John Sullivan Dwight

> Other Hopeful Ideas

Choosing to celebrate Christmas in the midst of deep grief requires leaning into the pain in order to strengthen broken places. Each family must decide the way that suits it best. I found it helpful to mix old traditions with new ones. Preparing Mark's favorite foods and planning small surprises for my family gave me a sense of joy. We gave ourselves permission to laugh and enjoy memories of Mark. Laughing did not mean we didn't miss Mark. We also gave ourselves permission to cry whenever and wherever we needed to cry.

I tried to take care of myself physically by continuing to walk regularly. For you it may be listening to music, shopping, playing sports, walking on the beach, or eating out with friends. Identify what comforts you and do it.

Friends commented that every time they heard “The Little Drummer Boy” they thought of Mark, our drummer. Collecting Little Drummer Boy memorabilia and drum tree ornaments became a quiet way to acknowledge Mark's continuing place in our family. What holiday memento collection might help you acknowledge your love for your departed family member?

Try to journal through the words of several Christmas carols, especially “O Little Town of Bethlehem.” What “hopes and fears” do you have that can be met only in Christ?

Prayer: Hopes and Fears
Lord, the Christmas story tells us that Your Name is Immanuel, “God with Us.” Remind us that Your Spirit is still with us. We give our hopes and fears to You, through this holiday and every day.

Dr. Chuck Betters is the pastor/teacher of MARK INC Ministries. His messages can be heard on www.oneplace.com. Visit www.markinc.com where you can order the message he preached the first Christmas after his son's death, Christmas Pain, #93-101. You can also order the book, Treasures in Darkness, A Grieving Mother Shares Her Heart, Presbyterian and Reformed Publishing Co., 2005.

Sharon W. Betters, Treasures in Darkness, A Grieving Mother Shares Her Heart (Phillipsburg, N.J.: P & R, 2005) 179-180, 181, 184, 186.
Ibid, 188, 189.
Ibid, 189-190.

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