Editor's note: Crosswalk welcomes our newest contributor, Dr. David Hawkins, The Relationship Doctor. David Hawkins, Ph.D., is a licensed clinical psychologist, family counselor and author who wants to connect with you to answer your relationship questions and concerns. To receive trusted, Biblically sound advice from Crosswalk's relationship expert, see Dr. David's contact information at the bottom of this article.

Dr. David:

My husband currently plays the piano at our church and has been for the past several years. My problem is that my husband has another side to him that I see but others do not. As long as I have been married to him I have never seen him pray or read the Bible at home or any other place. The only time he prays is at practice because he has to. He hates to go to Bible studies, couples meetings or our regular Wednesday night service if he is not playing the piano or hanging out with musicians or talking about music. My husband has no interest in being the spiritual leader in the home. How can someone who spends so much time in church hearing God's word, belong to a very blessed church and have the privilege of serving God, not be convicted to get closer to God? How can someone come to church and not like to fellowship with your own brother's or sisters?

---B

Dear B:

Unfortunately, you raise a very common problem -- that men typically are more passive spiritually, leaving the women to take the leadership role in this area of their relationships. This certainly is not God’s plan for marriage, and I sense your frustration. Men do need to be challenged and encouraged to raise their level of interest and participation in spiritual matters.

On a positive note, thankfully your husband is involved in the church and this can be something you can build upon together. You will need to walk a fine line with him: Talk to him about your desires to pray, fellowship and worship together, yet also realize that his faith walk may be different from yours. Many studies show that we all have different ways of praying, worshipping, and even fellowship styles, and you will need to appreciate those differences. Look for commonalities, not differences, while seeking opportunities to join him in his music ministry. Do I hear an opportunity to have a family evening of Christian music in the home? Also, don’t forget to regularly bring your concerns to the Lord – ultimately, God is the one who can bring about genuine change in your husband’s heart.

Dr. David:

My wife and I have recently separated after several years of difficulties. I did not want the separation, but she insisted on needing time to find herself. Now that we are separated, I have begun attending a Christian Singles program in another church and she is angry. She accuses me of looking for women, which is not true. What should I do? I still want to save our marriage, but since she was the one who wanted the separation, and wants little to do with me, I want to explore new possibilities in a safe environment.