My thoughts were addressed to a wounded lamb who identified himself as "doormat". That post brought a return response from doormat who graciously thanked me for the effort to address his situation.

Thank you for taking so much time to respond to my post. I don't expect you to go on and on with me. I know the ultimate answer is "Jesus surrendered His rights so who do you think you are?"

First of all, you are welcome. Anyone who knows anything about me knows that I have a heart for wounded lambs. I would be willing to go on and on with you if God could somehow use my words to help you heal and forgive. I think you got it partially right about the ultimate answer. Yes, Jesus did surrender His rights and we are all trying to follow Him and become more like Him. But we ain't there yet. So who do I think you are? I think you are an honest, sincere, wounded lamb trying to do the right thing in the middle of anger and pain. So if I can be patient with that I am sure the Good Shepherd is infinitely more patient with your struggle. I understand that forgiveness is rarely instantaneous. It is a process based on knowledge of God's Word and faith.

Is a Christian allowed to have an attorney to defend his rights and to maybe even fight for damages on behalf of the wronged person? As a Christian, can I have my own attorney and can I press charges against the pastor who deliberately took advantage of me and violated my rights? Do Christians have the same rights every other citizen of this country has? Must I give up my rights? These questions are rhetorical.

I don't know your situation. I don't know how you have been damaged. I do believe it is important to separate your legal response from the biblical response that Jesus taught. I am not going to tell you that you cannot take legal action, that you cannot have a lawyer, and that you cannot seek recovery of damages. Of course you have every right to do that as a citizen of this country. But I have learned in my five decades on this planet that your spiritual peace and joy will be unrelated to the success of your lawsuit or whatever you can recover through legal action. If this pastor or church leader is a danger to others you might well be doing a service by pursuing such action. But your own soul will not find peace until you are willing to forgive. You probably think I have never experienced anything like you are going through and that may well be true. But I would invite you to read the story of the rejection of our infant daughter Katie by our local church. That was pretty rough. But we had to be willing to forgive to be healed.

I don't think the Father of the crucified Christ imagined that His Son's death could be one day used to manipulate believers into positions of surrendering their rights out of respect for what Christ did for him. That is the answer, I think.

I am sure that God knew the depths of depravity and the wicked potential of men to misuse the wonderful gift of salvation and grace that Jesus offered. But that is a part of the miracle of the incarnation. Jesus became a man and has walked in our skin. He understands how that betrayal feels and when you take it to Him...He gets it.

I've read other posts where people have said that being a Christian has blessings and rewards but this is just not my experience.