CW:  It was well detailed how you actually worked through that. The book concludes with the idea of being a "wounded healer." How do you hope that you and others who have been hurt by fatherly neglect can become wounded healers?

Miller:  Well, Desmond Tutu talks about taking somebody from arrogant victim to wounded healer. This [progression] cannot be accomplished except through a deeply-rooted spiritual life. So what I think is involved is faith in God, and submission to God. To say, "God please move from me arrogant victim to wounded healer - I need to be healed." And the process begins. Inviting God into that journey is the first step, and then surrounding yourself with a group of people who can help you, who can mentor you.

CW:  Do you think any man can become a wounded healer? And what advice would you give a man who feels unqualified to heal or mentor?

Miller:  I think any man can become a wounded healer, especially guys who grew up without dads. So much of my story is about not knowing. I remember believing - in my senior year of high school - actually believing that I was stupid, that my brain didn't work as well as other people's brains worked. And it wasn't until I had a teacher who basically pointed out that I was intelligent (I had written an article) that I learned I was a good writer. In other words, it wasn't until somebody outside myself said hey, you're intelligent, that I could actually believe that. So I began reading, and of course that's what I do today, I read and think and pray. But it took somebody else telling me. So I think there are people who think, "Oh, I could never lead, I could never [mentor]," but that's not true, it's really not true, and what we need to do is step in and give affirmation and keep moving forward. If we act "as if," sometimes the "as if" becomes true; you just have to keep doing that in faith. So yes, any broken man can become a wounded healer. No matter how badly you're broken, God can use you to heal other people's lives, whether you know it or not.

CW:  Regarding feelings of stupidity or worthlessness, you admit in the book that you still sometimes struggle with thinking your words are "just going to be another burden on the world's library."

Miller:  It's always something that you fight, but more and more I'm trying to just get over that, and say this is an ability that to some degree God has given me, and use the opportunity that God has given me. I need to stand up and I need to use it, and receive what He's given.

CW:  Your previous answer about qualification reminds me of a Christian camp director who was fond of saying that God doesn't call the qualified, He qualifies the called. To use your terms, you might not even know you're in a situation to be a healer or mentor. I just find that very interesting that you would say you may not even know you're doing it.