The Democratic Mideast Peace Plan?

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Send in a "Extra-Special Super-Duper Special Envoy." Chicago Sun-Times columnist Mark Steyn's recent article," 'Great Men' have grating effect on Mideast," summed up the decades-long futility of trying to put together a peace plan in the Mideast. We're not dealing with a legitimate government, in this latest crisis, the terrorist group Hezbollah (and please, it takes more than an election for Hamas to be declared a government. There's that little annoying knot-holed plank in the Hamas political platform about destroying Israel), so what's the point?

Senator Chuck Hagel has suggested sending Colin Powell or Jim Baker as "Special Envoys" to the Mideast to "fix" the problem of getting kidnapped Israeli soldiers back to their families and stopping missile attacks from raining down on Israel from southern Lebanon, while scolding the Israelis that their offensive into Gaza and neighboring Lebanon is "disproportionate." Senator Barbara Boxer has the more brilliant idea of sending Madeleine Albright as, what Steyn calls, an "Even More Special Envoy," not to be confused with the "Extra-Special Super-Duper Special Envoy."

How about getting the EU involved? The G-8? The Russians? Better yet, the UN? Whoops! Scratch the UN. They already have a battle-ready contingent of armed soldiers there from Fiji or some other Pacific island powerhouse who must specialize in advanced camouflage techniques since no one's seen them since this latest flare-up started.

But my favorite suggestion comes from Senator Dianne Feinstein. The California senator has suggested sending over the dynamic duo of former presidents George Bush and Bill Clinton, late of the Tsunami Relief Fund. Feinstein feels that Clinton, especially, would be the kind of powerhouse this crisis needs since Clinton "knows more about what it takes to settle this crisis than virtually anybody else." Since Bill is such a magician in solving crises, I was just wondering if Ms. Feinstein is referring to the ex-president's skill in handling his impeachment proceedings, Whitewater, Vice Foster's suicide, Paula Jones and Jennifer Flowers, Khobar Towers/World Trade Center/East African Embassy/USS Cole bombings, or that very "proportionate" 78-day bombing of Serbia?

As Ambassador John Bolton replied earlier this week to a reporter asking about a possible ceasefire, what all this "Special Envoy" nonsense is all about, "It is very hard to understand from the people calling for a ceasefire how you have a ceasefire with a terrorist organization like Hezbollah."