Democrat Presidential Contenders

We have plenty of time for the cream of presidential contenders to rise to the top, but so far, the pickings are slim. Still, however, it might be worth sifting through a first draft, starting with Democrats.

Senator John Kerry: What can I say here that hasn't been said 1.000 times before? Kerry, of course, is waffling on whether or not he's a 2008 contender, but if Teresa changes her name back (again) to Heinz-Kerry, he's ready.

Senator Russ Feingold: One thing about Wisconsin; they can still turn out socialist politicians. Has as much chance as Howard Dean had (but that won't stop the MSM from lionizing him during the early primaries).

Senator Joe Biden: I didn't know hair plugs make you delusional.

Senator Hillary Clinton: In an amazing turn of events, the Hildebeast has gone from a top contender to a lame old mare, courtesy of the Dems left-wing base and their call for her renunciation of her vote to go into Iraq. Since she's reading from her husband's old move-to-the-center playbook, she's in a political pickle.

Senator John Edwards: Before the primaries even get started, this pretty boy will be back chasing ambulances.

Al Gore: Ha-ha-ha-ha!!! Hold on. I've got to compose myself here. The funny thing about Gore (actually, there's a couple of funny things) is that his appeal to the Dem "base" of wing-nuts is what will cripple him, Kerry, and Feingold.

Barack Obama: I think it's mandatory that when you mention this guy, you have to preface it by saying "a rising national star of the Democratic Party." Empty suit. Phony as a three-dollar bill, maybe that's why Hollywood loves him.