Friendship

People need friends. They seek them in nursery school and in retirement homes...and everywhere in-between. Friends are gifts of God. The first words the Lord spoke about His creation were: "It is not good for man to be alone." That means not only marriage but friendship. Many of today's friendships are superficial, merely social or business relationships. But investing in "quality friendship" brings immeasurable rewards.

One memorable friendship is that of David and Jonathan. Their story is "a good read," and gives insights to a quality friendship. You can find their story in 1 Samuel chapters 13-31.

• Be a giver. A friendship begins with a commitment to be a friend, not just to have a friend. Seek to meet your friend's needs. Jonathan saw a need in David's life and risked his own father's wrath to help David.

• Declare your loyalty and commitment. The practice of verbal commitment and encouragement is not easy, yet essential to a long-term friendship. David and Jonathan made their covenant before the Lord.

• Be accepting. Quality friends need not come from your own ethnic, economic, social or religious class. Jonathan was a king's son; David was a poor shepherd's son.

• Don't fear rejection. Too many people say: "I'm afraid to let anyone get to know me; they may not like what they see." True friends accept us with all our faults.

• Be genuinely open. Jonathan stripped off all signs of rank and gave them to David as a sign that he was opening his whole life to his friend.

• Don't be possessive. Too often a person resents a friend's association with others. Share the pleasure of your friend's company and relax in the security of the friendship.

• Don't be indifferent to the needs of friends. Actively reach out to a friend who is in need, whether it be a hug, a phone call - or confronting them with the hard truth of a situation. George Bernard Shaw put it: "The worst sin toward our fellow creatures is not to hate them, but to be indifferent to them; that is the essence of inhumanity."

• Be wary of bad friends. When friends lead you into sin to gossip, to uncontrolled anger or immoral activity - they are not good for you.

From Quality Friendship: The Risks and Rewards by Gary Inrig. Copyright (c) 1981 by Moody Bible Institute of Chicago. Used by permission of Moody Press, Chicago, Ill., 1-800-678-6928.

Gary Inrig (B.A., University of British Columbia; Th.M., Dallas Theological Seminary) is senior pastor of Trinity Evangelical Free Church in Redlands, Calif. He is the author of Hearts of Iron, Feet of Clay published by Moody Press.