Healthy Choices for a Troubled Marriage

After reading my comment, I realize it was more in response to thewoman's comment rather than the article. So, let me try again (although I would really love feedback and insight regarding the questions I posed).
New strategies: "...criticism, bickering and sarcasm." I think when those things are present the couple has lost respect for each other at some point, thus moving over into a more judgemental role rather than nurturing. This is where I agree with thewoman that the only place to start is within. Be more concerned with objectively looking at your behavior rather than finding reasons to justify it. Often times the cycle of offense starts, then carries on until we're no longer sure who started it. How it started doesn't matter so much as how you can play a role in ending it. It just takes someone to make the first positive move. More times than not the selfless act of kindness and 'retreat' will be reciprocated and you'll find yourself in a cycle of rebuilding the lost respect.

What about the person in an abusive relationship? Most times that person is already riddled with feelings of guilt that the emotional or physical abuse is their fault. To tell that person the conflict is in their head and a result of ego would only reiterate and support the bondage they are in. While many scriptures instruct not to leave a spouse, there are many more that reveal God's heart regarding the oppressed and their oppressors. Thus the posed question for new strategies. While we can only control our behavior and not that of our spouse, how can we reconcile staying in an oppressive relationship, often times subjecting children to the same oppression? And what if the offending spouse claims to be on the path to change...again. At what point can the spouse wish them well on their journey, but take action to better the situation for themselves and their children?

the answer will not be found in anaylizing the "relationship" or the other person, but in the realization that the "conflict" exists inside the person's head that is asking the question. the "problem" is NEVER "out there" rather something "out there" is perceived as a problem. all conflict is created by the ego/self...period.

Good question...I'd like to know...

Welcome to the blog world Dr. D!