If you really want to make your marriage work, don't have one wedding -- have four.

That's what former Playboy playmate and Baywatch star Pamela Anderson, 39, seemed to be thinking when she wed her on-again, off-again boyfriend, musician Bob Ritchie (aka "Kid Rock"), in four back-to-back ceremonies this summer.

(I tried to post some pictures for y'all, but they were all too porno.)

The couple first proclaimed their eternal devotion to one another on a boat in St. Tropez.  Then they did it again in Beverly Hills.  Then the couple wed again, in both Detroit and Nashville.  In Nashville, they held their ceremony at the quaint-sounding Tootsie's Orchid Lounge.

Now, in a stunning shocker, the pair has announced their divorce.

What a shame.  Especially since GQ Magazine -- a bastion of reputable, objective journalism, if ever there was one -- has just crowned them "Newlywed Couple of the Year."

People, people, people.  How many times do I have to tell you?  In Hollywood, it's "Newlywed Couple of the Month."  Get it straight.

Anderson, who filed the divorce papers, is citing irreconcilable differences.  However, widespread reports say that the real reason behind the split is the film "Borat" -- a mockumentary in which Pamela Anderson is the object of Sasha Baron-Cohen's ...umm..."affection."

Supposedly, Rock was not aware of the film's contents (which include very graphic nudity, though not of Anderson -- they wish). Nor was Rock apparently aware of the fact that Anderson was in on the gag all along i.e. pretending to be surprised by Borat at a booksigning. 

In other words, Rock didn't know his wife could act.  Now how could that be?

Man, and here I thought that wearing a string bikini to your wedding absolutely guaranteed you'd be married for life.

No, wait...now that I think of it, Pammie also wore a bikini to her wedding to rocker Tommy Lee, back in 1995.  Wow.  What a coincidence.

Well, Pam, honey, I hope you've learned your lesson.  Next time, wear a ONE PIECE!  Duh!

With Southern love,

Annabelle

www.SouthernGirlsGuide.com