Laura MacCorkle

Jelly fish and wishy-washy men and women just got an easier option when it comes to breaking up with the objects of their affection. 

That’s right.  Apparently there’s a new “breaking up service” that’s available for people who don’t want to spine up and do the deed that needs to be done.  It’s called SLY-DIAL and is a free phone service that will let the user connect directly with another user’s voice mail.  Thus, you bypass actually having a real, live conversation.  So, it should make breaking up a whole lot easier.  Nice.

I’m not kidding either.  I heard about it earlier today on “The Laura Ingraham Show,” as she was reading about it on air from a story in the New York Post.

Now I know it’s hard to have this conversation and to sever ties with someone with whom you are romantically involved.  But isn’t it right and good and HONORABLE to deliver sensitive news like this in person? 

You would think.  But we live in a society that continues to weanie down with each year that passes by.  We have more and more options to help us to not have to do the right thing in all areas of life.  How can that be good?

For a thoughtful, more mature alternative, may I recommend Lee Wilson’s most excellent article that’s currently running in Crosswalk’s Singles Channel in which he walks you through the right way to break up.  Thankfully, he doesn’t candy-coat it either, and calls it like it is:  “Breaking Up Is Hard to Do.”  Click HERE to read.

The good news is that he offers some great steps to take to get through this difficult dissolution process.  So if you know someone who’s currently dealing with a pending break-up, please pass it along. 

And encourage them to forgo the SLY-DIAL and do the right, “live and in person” thing when it comes to ending a relationship.

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Before I started blogging at Crosswalk, I had a personal blog that I would update frequently.  Actually most every day, as I knew that friends and family would be checking it.

And if I wasn’t johnny-on-the spot with something fresh to say by the lunch hour on each day, then boy would I hear about it.

For subject matter, I would normally blog about whatever was on my mind.  And these were usually random thoughts or questions that I would’ve wanted to discuss with ……wait for it …… a husband! 

Yes, and since that was not happening, I used to joke that “my blog was my husband.”  Or “I don’t have a husband, therefore I blog.” 

I said it very tongue-in-cheekly.  But it was also partly true.  Because I wouldn’t have had to blog about these trivial things to the masses if there was someone close by who would be legally bound to listen to everything I had to say, ask or question.  And then I could have had this all taken care of very conveniently in the privacy of my own home, and not have had to bother anyone else.  Virtually or otherwise.

But until that time, here we are.  And with all of that being said—by way of a five-paragraph-introduction—I had some thoughts this past weekend that I wanted to share with my “blog-husband.”  And how nice for you that you get to come along for the discussion. 

P.S.  If you have answers to or comments for any of the following questions and thought processes, please say so below in Reader Comments. ...

1.  Is it just me, or is everything (often in television and sometimes in print) described with double adjectives now?  “Super new” or “Crazy good” are two examples.  Also annoying is the over-usage of “insane” or “insanely.”  If something smells “insane” or tastes “insanely” delicious, do I really want to ingest and take part in something like this?  Also, in 10 or 20 years, will everything be described w/three adjectives in a row because two were just not good enough any more?  “Extra, super new” or “Inconceivable, crazy good.”  When will it stop??? 

2.  Why does a man act like he’s not interested and/or insult a lady when he really IS interested all along?  Therefore, aren’t men just as complicated and/or fickle as women?  (This came to mind after watching Pride & Prejudice for the umpteenth time this past weekend.)

3.  Is Heath Ledger’s performance in The Dark Knight really that good?  Or does it just seem “Oscar worthy” because you know that he met with an untimely death earlier this year and so that information makes his performance somehow more “special” or sadly “glamorous”?  Also, how is it known that his death was “accidental”?  Since he is not here to vouch for himself, how do we know that he did not intentionally take prescription drugs to end his life?  I am just wondering about this, because everything I read refers to his death resulting from an “accidental overdose of prescription drugs.”  How do they know the mind of Heath?

4.  Some musings on male church attire.  If a man is going to wear a suit, then wear a suit (this includes a button-down shirt w/a tie, but not necessarily a vest or suspenders or braces).  If a man is going to wear a collared polo shirt, then wear your casual and wear it well with some accompanying khakis and loafers.  But, and here’s my q, why just wear a suit jacket and an open-collared oxford shirt?  Why not go all the way and wear the tie?  I don’t get it.  I mean, you’re almost there.  Either suit up all the way or polo down, right?

5.  While renting a DVD at Blockbuster, the clerk said upon checkout to yours truly:  “This is due back on Monday.”  And since I am a conscientious child of clarity, I asked:  “By midnight on Monday?”  And he said, “It’s due back on Monday.”  To which I said, “Does that mean any time up until midnight on Monday night?”  To which he said, “It’s due back on Monday.”  To which I said, “So you mean, if I drove up at 11:59 p.m. on Monday night and dropped it into the overnight drop slot, that it would not be considered “late”?  To which he said, “It’s just due back on Monday.”  To which I might have audibly sighed and “briskly” walked out of the retail establishment, DVD in hand.  What happened to the meaning of “service” in “customer service”???  For the love. ...

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BLOGGER’S NOTE:  Each Friday, I blog about what YOU, the people, want me to blog about.  You can submit topics or questions that you’d like me to address HERE.  I’ll choose one (or more) and depending on the subject matter and my mental faculties, the corresponding thoughts may be chatty or concise.  Regardless, I promise that I will thoughtfully consider what is sent and will blog to the best of my abilities.

For this inaugural edition of “The People’s Blog,” I received a whopping two inquiries.  HOO-ray.  And you know what?  I’m answering both of them, because I can.  Because I need to fill up space.  And because it’s Bonus Friday!

DISCUSSION:  Today, yes.  But I can’t promise what tomorrow will hold. …

TOPIC NO. 2:  I would love for there to be a discussion about "the marriage mandate movement" (which is, in essence, that there is a biblical command for all singles to marry and have children).  Do you think that people are under a biblical imperative to marry and have children?

DISCUSSION:  Personally, no.  I don’t think that there is a CLEARLY stated biblical command for all people to marry and to have children.  I don’t see that specifically in Scripture.  I do see that marriage is celebrated and a good thing.  But I also see that there is room for those who are single, too. 

In Genesis 1:28, God spoke to an already paired-up Adam and Eve:  “Be fruitful and increase in number.”  They were now together as a couple and were given their marching orders to procreate as a result of that union.

In 1 Corinthians 7:7-8, Paul says:  “But each man has his own gift from God; one has this gift, another has that.  Now to the unmarried and the widows I say:  It is good for them to stay unmarried as I am.  But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion.”

I look at these verses and gather that there are those who God purposes to marry and have children and those who he purposes to remain single and serve him in this capacity.  Each has their place in the body of Christ.

But I know that others do see this otherwise.  Such as Al Mohler (perhaps he could be considered the leader of the “marriage mandate movement” you reference?).  His “The Mystery of Marriage” message at a New Attitude conference about four years ago sparked some controversy.

For that side of the equation, you can read Mohler’s commentary on the first part of his address HERE.  And go HERE for the commentary on the second part.

On the other side, I find it encouraging what John Piper has said about singleness in his message titled “Single in Christ:  A Name Better Than Sons and Daughters.”  He interprets “be fruitful and increase in number” for singles in terms of adding new believers to the Kingdom.  Interesting.  I never thought about it in that way.  And it’s a different perspective for those of us who are not married (and desire to find mates and bear children) to consider that we are not without a purpose or a calling in this season of our lives.  We are not relegated to "sideshow-freak status," and there is a place for us!

Listen to Piper’s message or read the transcript HERE.

I think there will always be a debate about this subject.  Genesis 1:28 vs. 1 Corinthians 7.  Which way is right?  Perhaps both are, and there is provision and a different set of instructions for everyone.

In addition, it is vitally important to examine the heart.  What desires has God placed there?  Is he drawing you toward marriage and having children, and you are resisting?  Or is he asking you to remain single (even though you have the desire to marry), and you are the poster child for bitterness instead of making the most of your situation?  It can be helpful to process your thoughts and feelings with friends or family who love you and with whom you can be accountable.  They can help you to see what you may not be able to see about yourself and gently direct you toward Truth.

Also what is most important, I think, is to study the Bible for yourself.  What is God saying to you?  Then, wait upon the Lord as you seek his direction and pray that your desires will line up with his for your life.

Whew.  Well, that’s all for this week.  Unlike myself, I kept this a little short and sweet.  But in any case, I wish you a good weekend!  And I’ll look forward to blogging for you again next Friday. 

To have your topics or questions about anything and everything considered for the next edition of “The People’s Blog,” please send them to thepeoplesblog@crosswalk.com.
 

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The 2008 International Christian Retailers Show has been what’s the haps this week in Orlando, Florida, at the Orange County Convention Center. 

I admit that I slapped on my media badge and attended with a little fear and trepidation.  And not just because of what the humidity can do to one’s coiffure.  I was downright scared about what I might see and experience.  But I just got back and in hindsight, I think I found that it was actually interesting.

Perhaps it was even very interesting.  Mostly for the people.  I am fascinated by how many different types of Christians there are:  Loud.  Quiet.  Demonstrative.  Reserved.  Pale.  Too tan.  Lots of hair.  Not enough for a comb-over.  Quirky.  Non-descript.  Fresh.  And stale.  All kinds, you see.

I am also intrigued by the types of products that are promoted to Christian retailers, so that they will sell them in their brick-and-mortar or online establishments.  I won’t go into a list of the latest—and most curious—options, but suffice it to say that some warrant a little head-scratching.  And by that I mean, Who buys this stuff????

But beyond the "stuff," what I enjoyed the most was meeting various authors and musicians in the publishing and entertainment arenas who were pumped up about their latest books, CDs, events, etc.  And some of these, I was able to shake hands with at the Christy Awards dinner (the Christy Awards honor the best in Christian fiction and you can check out this year’s winners here).

You see, before you meet you see the publicity shots, the back-cover photos and the promotional materials, and you have some expectations about what these individuals will be like.  But then you spend time together in person, and your preconceptions can often turn into misconceptions.  For the most part.  And that’s a pleasant surprise!  So over the coming weeks and months, you’ll be able to access some of the conversations we had right here on Crosswalk.com (and in a new and improved kind of way, too … and that’s all I’ll say about that).  So be looking for those very soon.

And speaking of conversations, I enjoyed chatting with (or rather being thoroughly amused by) Mark Steele—comedian, author, filmmaker and co-host of The Steelehouse Podcast.  If you’re an avid reader of my blog, then you’ll remember that I dished about it a couple of months ago.  It’s the podcast where they “discuss God in pop culture, because God reveals himself continually to us in art, and we are constantly looking for him.”

If you still haven’t given it a listen, then you really should.  It’ll make you think, it’ll make you chuckle and—depending on your emotional state of being—it might even make you cry.  Mark and co-host Jeff Huston (filmmaker and critic) discuss books, movies, music, television and more on a new podcast each week, which is available every Friday afternoon.  In this Friday’s edition (July 18, 2008 – Podcast No. 18), Mark promised to detail some of the most unusual sights and sounds that he observed while at ICRS.  And I, for one, cannot wait for that.  Go here to access or you can subscribe to it through iTunes (type in “Steelehouse Podcast” in the search window).

Mark also graciously gave me copies of his two books:  Flashbang:  How I Got Over Myself and Half-Life/Die Already:  How I Died & Lived to Tell About It.  And I say, "give me a Scooby snack!" 'cause I have already read through them both.  That’s not to say that the material wasn’t meaty or substantive.  I just happen to read quickly (especially that which is compelling) and had some extra time to do so when not sleeping well in a noisy, touristy hotel and while killing time during air travel. 

Now, I must say that I’ve never read anything like these two memoirs and can only describe them as an amusement park ride through the mind of Mark Steele.  But not a loop-dee-loop rollercoaster or a tilt-a-whirl, mind you.  More like the “It’s a Small World” boat ride at Disney World, where there are colorful sights and sounds and happenings going on all around you, and you are constantly looking over here and then over there and then back over here because there’s just so much going on simultaneously. That’s the best way I can describe the reading experiences of both books. 

I laughed out loud many times (even while reading in public, and I didn’t care).  But I also was deeply touched by the honesty and vulnerability Mark brings, as he shares from his fantastical personal experiences in the course of his life (If I remember correctly, Flashbang chronicles the first 36 years of his life and Half-Life/Die Already covers an 18-mos. period that immediately followed), and how he and his family have survived and made it through some pretty unbelievable scenarios and an inordinate amount of pain and loss. 

If you’re up for some witty literary stimulation, a whole lot of soul-searching and probably some “hey, I’m not the only one who feels like this!” connections, then you need to read both of these.  I highly recommend them.

And now, in ICRS conclusion—and in trying to wrap up this seemingly never-ending blog—yes, I Considered ‘Righteous’ Stuff this week.  And I hope to do it again next year.  Thankfully, in Denver, Colo.  Where the air is higher and dryer. 

So I guess instead of “the higher the hair, the closer to God,” that would make it “the higher the altitude, the closer to God.”  One would think.  But I’ll let you know. …

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