If you want a taste of what it's like to be a teen, here's a tip: tune into MTV's Video Music Awards.

This year's host, Russell Brand, decided to take on the Jonas Brothers' pledge of purity -- a move that's been discussed by culture watchers throughout the media in the last couple of days.

The squeeze to laugh at meanness, to laud the culture's cynicism about faith, to enjoy watching someone labeled an "innocent" squirm at the hands of a "funny" bully -- our teens face that pressure every day in the halls of their schools, on the web, and everywhere else they assemble. Even at youth group on Sundays.

That's why I loved Jordin Sparks' feisty improvisational response to Brand's bad boy riff. "It's not bad to wear a promise ring because not everybody, guy or girl, wants to be a slut," Sparks said, standing tall at the podium. Her tone rang with assurance, her expression stayed sweet, but she used tough, simple language that was easy to understand. And best of all, what she said was true.

The audience applauded. The host came out and apologized ... sort of. The handful of Sparks' peers trying desperately to avoid getting smashed by the express train of celebrity sat up a bit straighter.

Nineteen or twenty words. That's all it took to turn the tide.

As my high-schoolers, their buddy, and I witnessed the atmosphere in the theater change and felt our own hearts lighten, we talked about the power of truth. My prayer is that like Jordin Sparks, our teens will have the courage and skill to wield that weapon well.

I wasn't raised in the church -- I didn't become a follower of Jesus until I was nineteen years old. That's why I've marveled at the myriad of benefits my kids have enjoyed as they grow up in our church community's circle of love and support. Recently my gut observations were vindicated as University of Iowa researchers recently discovered that church attendance has as much effect on a teen's GPA as whether the parents earned a college degree.

The study identifies several reasons church-going students do better in school:

• They have regular contact with adults from various generations who serve as role models.
• Their parents are more likely to communicate with their friends' parents.
• They develop friendships with peers who have similar norms and values.
• They're more likely to participate in extracurricular activities.

One reason I'm a stickler about regular church attendance is because I didn't get these advantages. As our boys enter the later teen years, attending church and youth group is staying first on our rapidly shrinking list of non-negotiables.

Our goals? By the time they leave our nest, their relationships with adults and peers at church will be so tight that they'll want to come back every chance they get. And hopefully down the road they'll look for a similar type of faith circle where they choose to settle, because they'll see that the blessings don't stop coming -- even once you're done getting graded.

I was nervous. For the first time in my life, I'd been invited to an exclusive gathering of evangelical executives. The renowned Christian leader Dr. Leighton Ford was the guest speaker, and my assignment was to sit in the back of the room and take notes for my absent boss. 

One of my friends lives in a two-family house with her parents' half on the other side of a wall, a set-up that's fairly typical here in New England. When her teen sons used to come home after school, they'd ask, "What's for dinner?" If the answer wasn't to their liking, they'd pop next door to see what Grandma was cooking. Usually, my friend tells me, the food over there was better, the welcome more unconditional, the rules not as stiff, and the ambience twice as relaxing after a hard day of high school. Usually, they stayed next door.