Never Been Kissed: Will I Ever Find True Love?
Bonnie Gray is author of Finding Spiritual Whitespace: Awakening Your Soul To Rest, garnering starred review praise from Publisher's Weekly, named as one of PW's top 6 notable new religion authors. Bonnie is a featured contributor at (in)courage and her writing is nationally syndicated, spotlighted by Relevant Magazine, Catalyst Leadership, Today's Christian Woman, and Christianity Today. A UCLA graduate, Bonnie has been a missionary, ministry entrepreneur and Silicon Valley high-tech professional. Bonnie serves up shots of faith for the daily grind on her blog Faith Barista.com. Bonnie lives in Northern California with her husband Eric and their two sons.
- 2013 Feb 25
Today, I’d like to share a post to encourage those who have the gift of encouragement, who may be wondering if God can bring love back in your life, if you'd ever find the one.
Just like Ruth never expected she would find a Boaz while gathering leftover in the fields for Naomi, you are not forgotten. Your needs are not overlooked. The dream you dare to whisper in private — God hears.
Like Ruth, you are focusing on the gathering — the work that’s right in front of you. You get up and lie down, faithful to encourage those around you, being thankful for the spiritual provision you find everyday.
Among my purpose-filled days as a single, there were sometimes deep, long nights, when the ache in my heart tore down into my gut.
In those moments, I wondered if I would run into someone, the way Ruth stumbled onto Boaz’ fields…
Never Been Kissed
I don't know if dogs and cats dream of getting their first kisses, but one thing's for sure, humans are different.
I remember wanting my first kiss so badly, I thought I was going to die waiting. I did not want to get to college and be the only girl on campus whose only kiss was her bathroom mirror.
Luckily, despite my mother's best efforts and my propensity to like books and play in the orchestra (the cool kids were in band and track-and-field), I did get my first kiss before donning cap and gown.
The kiss was just as magical and dizzying as it appears in the movies.
But, it wasn't true love.
Not for him, anyways. It was a bummer.
The box for My First Kiss was checked off the same year as Dumped For The First Time.
Missing The Boat
Some people talk about not kissing anyone until they're engaged, to end up marrying the first person they kissed. Real fairy-tale like.
Too bad, I always thought. Why didn't God have the first guy I fall in love with be my husband?
It was the first of many why-questions I'd start filing secretly away. Many years passed. I could never find the magic of that first kiss again.
After some time, I grew up and got smart. I stopped believing there was "The One".
If I missed the boat with "The One", then I'd rather just be by myself and God.
It's just you and me, God.
I liked it just fine.
There was enough to keep me kingdom forward and connected with people. Eight years fly by when you can serve with abandon, lots of friends to make and enjoy.
Then, one day, I met him.
He Was Different
Unlike other Christians guys who always stayed behind the lines of just being "friends", he was different.
He wrote me digital letters every day for a month. Then, he asked me out on a date. Not to grab a bite to eat. A date.
In line for a flick, we found out our #1 favorite food was pizza and we both loved coffee. We couldn't stop talking and we were laughing even though there were no jokes being told.
I decided to put out the "No Kissing" edict.
My last kiss was many annual moons ago. I didn't want to kiss any more frogs.
Three months. That's how long we'd have to date exclusively before we could kiss.
He was smart. He smiled and nodded.
I didn't make it past six weeks.
The kiss I received that day under a willow tree was the best kiss ever.
It felt like my first kiss.
It didn't bring me back to my kiss at seventeen.
It felt as if I had never been kissed.
... Until that moment with him.
Turn Back Time
If you've ever stopped believing that anything could be new again, God's perfect timing can turn everything back to the first time. The impossible happened that day we first kissed. God became a lot more powerful than I imagined.
~ He works in mysterious ways we can't explain.
~ He stirs and rearranges our hearts, when we're not looking. When we don't think anyone else is home, except us, He makes a space for love.
~ He is more capable than cupid, more magical than the most beautiful of fairy tales.
A Kiss To Your Soul
I'm old enough to understand that nothing lasts forever.
But, there are some things that happen only once, that remind us that there is eternity in our hearts.
The one I call my husband was him. He was brought into my life, even though I gave up looking for love.
God knows what you may have given up on.
The One who knows you can bring a kiss to your soul, like the one you've always longed for and forgotten about.
Mine came through a person, but remember, God is not limited by our ways.
Why didn't God have the first guy I fall in love with be my husband?
... So that I could believe in miracles again.
"And as the bridegroom rejoices over the bride, So your God will rejoice over you."~ Isaiah 62:5
Where are your thoughts today on finding true love?
Do you need to believe in miracles again?
Pull up a chair. I'd love to hear your thoughts and I'm so glad you're here.
Bonnie Gray is an inspiring Christian writer and blogger, offering encouragement to keep faith fresh in the daily grind. Her writing springs from the belief that the beauty of faith often takes place when life goes off script. Bonnie is the Founder of FaithBarista.com and featured writer for Hallmark subsidiary DaySpring's (in)Courage. Bonnie is currently working on her debut book, to be published by Revell Books. Bonnie is a native Californian living in the heart of Silicon Valley with her best friend Hubby, wrangling their two heaven-sent boys on the homestead.
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