Men, (because this is who this is for) though Newsweek and other periodicals make a cover story out of this once a year or so like it is breaking news, you might have already noticed that women aren’t like us. You may have even asked yourself “Why?” 

I doubt if you have gone this far with it (don’t tell me if you have), but you might even find yourself in sympathy with Higgins and Pickering from “My Fair Lady” in the song (I know, I often cringe at the thought of men bursting into song in the middle of a conversation too, but this is funny, so read it) entitled “Why Can’t a Woman be More Like a Man?”

 PROFESSOR HIGGINS:
Why can’t a woman be more like a man?
Men are so honest, so thoroughly square;
Eternally noble, historically fair.
Who, when you win, will always give your back a pat.
Why can’t a woman be like that?

Why does every one do what the others do?
Can’t a woman learn to use her head?
Why do they do everything their mothers do?
Why don’t they grow up, well, like their father instead?

Why can’t a woman take after a man?
Men are so pleasant, so easy to please.
Whenever you’re with them, you’re always at ease
.

Would you be slighted if I didn’t speak for hours?

COLONEL PICKERING:
Of course not.

PROFESSOR HIGGINS:
Would you be livid if I had a drink or two?

COLONEL PICKERING:
Nonsense.

PROFESSOR HIGGINS:
Would you be wounded if I never sent you flowers?

COLONEL PICKERING:
Never.

PROFESSOR HIGGINS:
Well, why can’t a woman be like you?

One man in a million may shout a bit.
Now and then, there’s one with slight defects.
One perhaps whose truthfulness you doubt a bit,
But by and large we are a marvelous sex!

Why can’t a woman take after a man?
‘Cause men are so friendly, good-natured and kind.
A better companion you never will find.

If I were hours late for dinner would you bellow?

COLONEL PICKERING:
Of course not.

PROFESSOR HIGGINS:
If I forgot your silly birthday, would you fuss?

COLONEL PICKERING:
Nonsense.

PROFESSOR HIGGINS:
Would you complain if I took out another fellow?
Pickering
Never.

PROFESSOR HIGGINS:
Why can’t a woman be like us?

PROFESSOR HIGGINS:
Why can’t a woman be more like a man?
Men are so decent, such regular chaps;
Ready to help you through any mishaps;
Ready to buck you up whenever you’re glum.
Why can’t a woman be a chum?

Why is thinking something women never do?
And why is logic never even tried?
Straightening up their hair is all they ever do.
Why don’t they straighten up the mess that’s inside?

So, other than the obvious things about women that we readily do appreciate, why would God make women so different from men? Wouldn’t it have been easier if men and women, husbands and wives, fathers and daughters, intuitively understood the world the same, and desired the same things? Wouldn’t it have required a lot less sacrifice that way?

 Aha! And in that may lie the secret. It would require less sacrifice, and I believe that God intends marriage (and fathering) to be a living parable of His love for His people (check out my marriage material for a much more in-depth study on that topic). If we are extremely similar in our outlooks and desires, then we could accomplish a ton, but we couldn’t very well sacrifice. So, men and women are different.

In my Bible Study for Men (especially Fathers and Sons), called The Gauntlet, one of the men we study and honor is Boaz. He is truly a Bible Hero stud; and he seemed to understand women. Take a look at him, or contact me if you are interested in the guided study. Boaz seems to know that Ruth (and Naomi too) are different from him, and that they require a certain prowess in order to love well. He seems to understand gentleness, and how to be considerate. In the end, he has what we all long for, a woman who freely chooses to love him and to be devoted to him. 

 Paul has some of the most beautiful, deep, theological and mysterious teaching on marriage that has ever been attempted as he relates husbands to the head and to Christ and wives to the body and to the Church.  It really is convicting and inspiring to read the passages in Ephesians 5. However, I always like the straight-up, no nonsense command of Peter (who, as you might remember, was married!) “Husbands, live with your wives in consideration of her…” In other words, THINK ABOUT HER RATHER THAN JUST YOURSELVES. “Consider” just means “think.” Remember that you live with a woman, and learn to think more like her so you can live with her in a way that is a blessing to her!

 Ok, there are to follow some practical ideas that most of us don’t see the same as they do, and some basic guidelines to radically change your interactions with her… look in the blogs entitled “Compliments,” “Gift Giving,” “Dates,” and I hope there will be more.

I recommend starting with the article on Gifts next: http://phalanxmen.wordpress.com/2010/08/14/giving-gifts-like-a-man-should/