How to Make Money Writing For Single Atheists With iPhones Who Hate Dieting Christian Homosexuals Who Love Britney Spears
- 2008 Feb 16
Cool. That title should bump up my page views.
(Oh, no. At first doing that seemed so funny -- but now I sense its Impending Obnoxiousness. Because you know people really will open this post -- and then go, "Oh, wow. Now I so hate this guy." And I hate it when people hate me. Not because I have any psychotic desire to be loved by everyone, but because I so care about people that it causes me pain when they're wrong. And not loving me is about as wrong as wrong gets. What's not to love about me? I ... I ... I'm pretty tall, which can be darn handy in a high-shelved room, let me tell you. And in the front of my hair I have a balding pattern that many children find delightfully hilarious. And ... um ... I'm easily amused, so around me just about anyone feels Majorly Entertaining.
Man. That's a pretty thin list of appealing qualities. Maybe I should ... buy a mini-toupee. A toupatch. Anyway, if you were lured here unfairly, please allow me to point you to one of my Actual Posts, which I promise will be funny and assuage your resentment at being cyber-duped. [Try my very recent, My Giant Head, if you will. How To Be Unemployed is pretty yukkalable. Less funny but surprisingly popular was/is How To Make a Living Writing. My most popular post to date is Six Tests to Determine If He's Mr. Right. One of my personal favorites is The Story of My Life. And I'll shut-up now.]
To my regular readers: Um ... please consider continuing to not hate me.)
Comment here. Or not. Your call. Really. It's up to you. Comment. Don't comment. Either way. It's up to you. No pressure.