Here's a toy somebody donated to the thrift store today. Made of rock-hard plastic, it's about twelve inches high. I was going to make a joke about how unsurprising it was that it looks brand new, since no one could have ever played with it ... but now I feel kind of sorry for ol' ... Horno. Or Zeetmo. Or Splacko. Or whatever in the world the poor thing's name is.
(Oh---for the record, nothing on little ... YowTao moves, or anything. And that weird slanty circle thing on his stomach isn't a button, or anything you can turn or anything. It's just ... that.)
I don't know what kid this toy used to belong to, but I sure do feel sorry for him. Or her. Or it.
Comment once you've stopped crying here.