The Man in the Dolphin Suit
John ShoreBesides here on Crosswalk, John blogs on JohnShore.com.
- 2007 Apr 25
I would like to thank the very nice people who wrote me about my recent blurgs—blogs, I mean, on animals. Very kind! Oh, sure, I was a tad disturbed by the man who wrote in a deeply incensed tone to inform me that it was he in a dolphin suit, and not an actual dolphin, who played Flipper in the old TV series. He even attached a photo of himself, standing in his dilapidated trailer home, glaring at the camera and wrapped in what was obviously a plastic, blow-up dolphin pool toy.
Wasn't exactly a Nescafe moment for me.
Safe to say that thing will never float again.
But the important thing is, “The REAL FLIPPER!”, as he signed his name, did cause me to reflect upon the idea that it was probably—nay, definitely—time for me to move on to discussing other topics.
And to change my e-mail address.
And my phone number.
Ha! I’m kidding, of course. I’m not really going to move. I might not go outside for awhile, but it would take more than an old man in a dolphin outfit to get me to actually change residences. Besides, it’s not like he’s going to fly out to my house to get me or anything. Airport security would definitely be alerted to the man-fish in their midst. Those guys are pretty on the ball.
Of course, Mr. I.M. Amammal could always go take a cross-country bus. I don’t think bus companies screen their passengers the way airports do.
Still, he’s not gonna take a bus. He’d keep slipping off his seat.
So. Time to change subjects.
Hey! I know! Why leave it up to me to think of subjects to blob about?! You can help!If you have a subject that you think would make for an excellent blurg topic, let me know at firstname.lastname@example.org . My only request, if you wouldn't mind, is that you don’t write me if you used to be the star of a TV show starring an animal. Other than that, I can’t wait to hear from you!