Fathers Still Matter to Kids Who Have Moved Out
Jim LiebeltJim is Senior Writer, Editor and Researcher for the HomeWord Center for Youth and Family at Azusa Pacific University. Jim has over 25 years of experience as a youth and family ministry specialist, and has been on the HomeWord staff since 1998. He has served over the years as a pastor, author, youth ministry trainer, adjunct college instructor and speaker. Jim’s culture blog and parenting articles appear on HomeWord.com. Jim is a contributing author of culture and parenting articles to Crosswalk.com. Jim and his wife Jenny live in Olympia, WA.
- 2011 Jun 14
BYU family life professor Larry Nelson's latest study shows that certain types of dads remain a force for good with children who have moved out of the house.
Dads who blend love, high expectations and respect for the child's autonomy stood out in Nelson's analysis of fathers of young adults. These dads enjoy a closer relationship with their children, and the children demonstrate higher levels of kindness and self-worth.
"If their child is struggling to pick a major in college, these dads don't tell their kids what they think it should be," Nelson said. "Instead they'll say 'Have you ever considered this' or 'Here's one advantage of that.' And when the child makes a choice, they say 'I'm proud of you.'"
Scholars call this approach "authoritative parenting" – not to be confused with "authoritarian" Tiger Mothers or helicopter parents who swoop in to fix everything themselves.
"They know what's going on in their children's lives, and we're seeing that it's because the kids are willing to tell them," Nelson said. "The outcomes are better when parents aren't controlling."
The research appears in the June issue of the Journal of Youth and Adolescence.