Not Really Sure
Nicki Koziarz is a speaker, writer, and leader in today's generation. She lives just outside of Charlotte, NC with her husband and their three girls. As a leader and speaker, Nicki is willing to tackle the hard issues this generation is facing to encourage the pursuit of God's Truth in their lives. She is on staff at Proverbs 31 Ministries as the coordinator for their online Bible studies. Nicki speaks nationally for retreats, conferences, events and MOPS groups. For more information on having Nicki for your next event you can email her at: firstname.lastname@example.org Visit Nicki's site at: www.nickikoziarz.com
- 2014 Jan 22
That night I laid in my bed tossing and turning. I glanced at my phone…11pm, 1am, 3am, 5am.
The hours of the night passed and I found no sleep.
I had just made a big decision and was wrestling with a lot of doubt about it. Throughout the night one question continually tapped on my soul, “Did I really do the right thing?” I just couldn’t find the assurance my heart needed.
Worry. Anxiousness. Fear. And even a dose of sadness overcame me.
Sometimes it’s so hard to know if we made the right decision.
We look for three-point formulas, we seek advice, and we pray. We may even fast but ultimately almost every decision we make can come with doubt.
When 6am rolled around I got out of my bed and tiptoed down our stairs. I prayed for no one else to get up, just for thirty minutes. I needed my God. I needed His peace. I needed His confirmation over my decision.
But God didn’t offer me those things at 6am. Instead, what He offered me was this promise in Proverbs 16:9,
I wish I could tell you there’s a way to never question the choices we make. I wish I could tell you the things we can do that will always lead to a perfect peace in decision-making.
But what I’ve come to understand about making decisions is:
even when we desperately seek God,
even when we pray,
even when we seek council,
there really isn’t a place of 100% assurance.
But I had to find a resolve at 6am with that decision I had made. And our gentle God spoke through that verse in Proverbs 16:9.
I can make my plans and decisions, but a life yielded to God means I’m open to His movement in every way.
So I want to quit making plans, writing to-do lists and making decisions based on a false assurance that everything will be just right. I want understand how assurance is only found in the promises of God, no matter what twists and turns we take.
Because when we make decisions based on this promise [Proverbs 16:9] from God, we don’t have to live in fear and continually wonder if we made the right decision.
As I continue to make decisions I’m sure I’ll still feel I’m only 75% sure I’m doing the right thing. But because of this promise, I’m 100% sure that even if I wander into something that isn’t part of my God-dream, He will still use it.
And this is a promise is for every person who has doubted a decision they have made.