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Paul Coughlin Christian Blog and Commentary

Grateful at Year's End

  • Paul Coughlin

    Paul Coughlin is a former newspaper editor and is the author of numerous books, including the No More Christian Nice Guy, and Raising Bully-Proof Kids. He is the Founder of The Protectors: Freedom From Bullying—Courage, Character & Leadership for Life, (www.theprotectors.org), which provides a values-based and faith-based program that combats the cruelty of adolescent bullying in schools, summer camps, Sunday School, and other places where bullying is prevalent.

    He is a popular speaker who has appeared on Good Morning America, Nightline, 700 Club, Focus on the Family, C-SPAN, The LA Times, FamilyLife Radio, HomeWord with Jim Burns, The New York Times, Newsweek and other media outlets. He is a regular keynote speaker with Iron Sharpens Iron Men’s Conferences.

    His freedom-from-bullying program is used by hundreds throughout North America as well as in England, Australia, Uganda, New Zealand, Brazil, and South Africa. The Protector’s has partnered with Saddleback Church’s Justice & Trafficking Initiative in creating the first-ever Justice Begins on the Playground seminar that helps both faith-based and values-based organizations diminish bullying.

    He is a Boys Varsity Soccer Coach in Southern Oregon, where he was voted Coach of the Year twice, and where he is also a member of the Board of Trustees. He and his wife Sandy have three teenagers and live in Medford, Oregon. Contact him at: paul@theprotectors.org

  • 2009 Dec 23
  • Comments

As the year draws to a close, we at Coughlin Ministries are excited to see how even in troubled times, people are able to change their lives for the good when they simply have the right tools.  We hope you'll be as encouraged as we have been by the following letters we have received in recent months.

 

For a recent hockey tournament, my 15 year old son asked that I buy him a pea-coat. I made him a deal: "You read Paul Coughlin's Unleashing Courageous Faith, give me a book report, and I'll buy you the coat." He's got the coat. I've got a new son. Thanks for your great words of wisdom. I expect this to last him a lifetime.  --Connie, Canada

 

I just wanted to drop you a quick note, and tell you thank you for writing Unleashing Courageous Faith.  I have just finished it, and I have to say I am blown away. This is what I have been longing for in my walk with Jesus. I have been so abused by church leadership, and have had every bit of gusto all but squashed in me. But I am still standing, and know that there is a reason for all of it. More than anything, this book is sparking a fire in me that had been extinguished.  --Jerome, Kansas

 

As a private school principal, the last thing I want is a child to stay at home because they're afraid to come on campus.  With The Protectors, Paul Coughlin addresses an issue that crosses all ages and both sexes. It is the issue of bullying. The programs that schools are offered often address the bully, but do little to empower children to become more assertive, training them to stand up for themselves.  The Protectors program offers a whole solution, not just part of the equation.  People are able to see that both the bully and the one being bullied need help.  The first line of defense in bullying should come out of our homes and churches.  This is an issue we cannot be silent about any longer.  --Lance, Christian School Principal

 

After your anti-bullying presentation, our class discussed times when we might have been bullies and when we've been bullied. During this "think time," one of my students apologized for writing a mean note to someone in the class just last week. She said that your bullying presentation made her realize what a horrible feeling that must have been to have received the note. The two girls went home all smiles today.  -- Fourth Grade Teacher

 

From a married couple in Oregon:

I first heard of No More Christian Mr. Nice Guy and Married But Not Engaged on a June 2007 Focus on the Family episode.  My husband and I both listened very closely that day. We had just come through a terribly difficult situation and our marriage was fresh on the mend.   I was amazed that Paul Coughlin could have such insight into my own home.  No one previously understood what it meant to be married to a "nice guy."  Reading Married but Not Engaged took my breath away.  Prior to reading the book, I would often ask my husband "What's really going on?"  My CNG husband always went out of his way to help others, but rarely went out of his way to do anything within the marriage. He was nice to me, but there wasn't much of anything drawing us together.  The relationship was superficial, dishonest, and lacking real intimacy.  Both books worked to expose the underlying issues of a CNG.  It has helped us create a language of truth.  We now know the detriments of a CNG.  When we see passivity slipping back into our marriage, we pick up the books again and get refreshed on what we both need to do have a truthful, happy, engaged marriage.   I am grateful beyond words for Paul Coughlin's work.   No other books (aside from the Bible) have had such profound impact on our lives.  -K'lyn


Simply put, Paul Coughlin writes the words that every man needs to hear.  Never before had I realized what a selfish and damaging life I was leading until I read No More Christian Mr. Nice Guy and Married But Not Engaged.  Paul calls a spade a spade, and in these books he nailed my personality dead on.  I was mired in immaturity and passivity, to the point where I began to build up resentment within my marriage for issues I was causing.  I hated confrontation (a trait learned from my CNG father), and every time my wife tried to talk to me about what I was feeling, I would clam up and try to end the discussions by apologizing or just giving her the silent treatment.  Talk about a classic CNG.  Amazingly, I had convinced myself that I was a man, yet that I did not have to act like one within my own house.  My selfishness and apathy took our marriage to the brink, and it is only by God's grace and my wife's incredible commitment that we have come out the other side so much stronger and closer to God and each other.  Paul's books showed us how to recognize this destructive behavior, deal with the underlying hurt honestly, and move forward in a bold life of integrity.   -Brian

 

Each month generous partners like you help us bring this ministry of hope, faith, strength and courage to people held captive and hopeless. So from our family to you and yours this Christmas, thank you for helping create Hope for Life.

 

Paul Coughlin is the author of numerous books, including Unleashing Courageous FaithNo More Christian Nice Guy and No More Jellyfish, Chickens or Wimps. He also co-authored a book for married couples with his wife Sandy, titled Married But Not Engaged. His articles appear in Focus on the Family magazine, and he as been interviewed by Dr. James Dobson, FamilyLife Radio, HomeWord, Newsweek, C-SPAN, The New York Times, and the 700 Club among others. Paul is founder of The Protectors, the faith-based answer to adolescent bullying, which provides curriculum for Sunday Schools, private schools, retreats, and individuals that trains people of faith to be sources of light in the theater of bullying. 

Visit Paul's websites at: http://www.theprotectors.org, and http://www.paulcoughlin.net

Visit Sandy's website for reluctant entertainers at: http://www.reluctantentertainer.com