This craving was demonstrated in our national survey, in which nearly three out of four kids said they were strongly motivated to pursue freedom, and only a tiny fraction didn’t really care about having freedom at all. 

Is freedom something that motivates you and that you eagerly want?  (For example, the ability to have your own cell phone, drive yourself places to do what you want to do, and so on.)  Choose one answer.

72%   Yes, I feel like I have to have that freedom; I’m strongly motivated to pursue it.

27%   Yes, the idea of having that freedom is good, but I’m not strongly motivated to go after it.

1%    No, I don’t really care about having freedom.

In other words, freedom is not just a big deal to kids; it’s what gets them up and going in the morning.  (Or noon.)

“Freeedooommm!”
At the end of the last day of school last year, I (Lisa) watched in amusement as the doors to the high school flew open and the kids erupted with their arms raised, yelling the Braveheart battle cry.  “Freeedooommm!”

It appears that war-painted William Wallace’s epic passion for freedom lives on in our very own rosy-cheeked offspring.  As our teens experience their first exhilarating rush of freedom, they realize it feels insanely good.  Once they taste it, they want more.  And more.

“It gives me such a sense of power.”
People who use drugs or alcohol are seeking a temporary, exhilarating high—often described as the feeling of being able to do things they normally couldn’t.  Our kids are getting the same rush, but in a good way.  They’re experiencing the thrill of freedom, of being liberated to do things on their own, often for the first time!

Keep in mind that for their whole lives our children have been dependent on us in countless ways.  If your daughter wanted to go to the movies, she had no way to get there without you.  If your son desperately wanted to play on the soccer team, he had to rely on you for the necessary money and transportation.  Even if your daughter simply wanted to talk with a friend about homework, she first had to be sure you didn’t need the house phone at that moment.  And if you suddenly did need to make a call, she has to wrap up her conversation. 

You can see why finally being able to do things on their own is such a thrill for our kids.  Look how passionately several teenagers described their relief at no longer being dependent:

• It took me three years to save up for my car, and now that I have it, I feel so released.  Whenever it’s stressful around the house, I just take off and drive, top down, wind blowing, music blaring and everything’s better.  I feel sorry for my friends that don’t have wheels.  I’ll do anything to make sure I’ve got my own car handy.”
• It gives me such a sense of power to be able to schedule my own time and do what I want” (emphasis ours).
• There was such tension building up inside me before I got my license, like I was ready to explode from having to depend on someone else to get me places.  I’m much more relaxed now.

“I felt like a real person.”
Freedom not only gives your child the powerful relief of no longer being dependent, it also gives him the thrill of being an independent agent out there in the world as his own person, without having life filtered through you as the middleman.  Consider this revealing comment:  “When I finally got my own cell phone, everything changed.  I felt like a person, suddenly connected directly to my friends and the world through phone calls and text messages.  I can’t imagine living without that.”