Love that abounds is love that overflows to others. The difference between the love taught in the Bible and the kind the world talks about is that the love of Christ is a choice of the will, not simply a warm, fuzzy feeling we can’t control. You don’t fall in love accidentally. You grow in love toward God and toward others as a decision of your will.

Guard Your Mind
Another way to grow in your relationships is to guard your mind. For instance, even as we show love freely to others, it is not to be foolishly or blindly given. After Paul prayed that the Philippians might have abounding love, he added, “with knowledge and all discernment” (1:9). Our love for Christ includes loving the truth. Love that is out of control does not become a flowing river of blessing but a stagnant swamp. The two banks between which the river of our love must flow are knowledge and discernment.

The world sings songs that ask, “How can it be wrong when it feels so right?” But the answer of God’s Word is that love or anything else can be wrong if it goes outside the boundaries of God’s will and God’s Word. As we relate to God and to others in love, we need to make sure that our love is according to the truth. When you give your heart, that doesn’t mean you lose your head. Nor do we ever compromise God’s Word in the name of love.

Give Your Best
Paul ended the first section of Philippians 1 with these words: “So that you may approve what is excellent, and so be pure and blameless for the day of Christ, filled with the fruit of righteousness that comes through Jesus Christ, to the glory and praise of God” (vv. 10–11).

These verses speak of the importance of excellence in what we do for Christ, both in our personal lives and as we relate to others. The way we “approve what is excellent” is to encourage one another to engage in love and good deeds, as the Bible says in Hebrews 10:24. When we are giving our best for Christ and are urging and helping each other to do the same, we will produce “the fruit of righteousness.”

There’s a lot of conversation today about improving people’s relationships. We get all kinds of advice. We certainly should seek godly counsel when it is needed, but to be truly fit for life, we must begin by putting first things first, living for what matters most. The purpose of the Christian life is to become more and more like Jesus Christ. When we are relating properly to Him and growing in His love, then our other relationships in life will become strong and healthy.



Jack Graham is pastor of Prestonwood Baptist Church, one of America’s largest congregations, in Plano, Texas. He also serves on the executive committee of the Southern Baptist Convention, where he has served two consecutive terms as President. His other books include Life According to Jesus and Diamonds in the Dark.

Are You Fit for Life?  Copyright © 2008 by Jack Graham.  Published by Crossway Books, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers. 1300 Crescent Street Wheaton, Illinois 60187. All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system or transmitted in any form by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopy, recording or otherwise, without the prior permission of the publisher, except as provided for by USA copyright law.