This may also be why so many kids urged parents to let their kids learn on their own, even through their mistakes.  One boy said his father often says to him, “It’s your decision whether it’s wise to go.  I will allow it, but if you get in trouble, you will have to pay your own consequences.” 

Help them move from fearing parents to fearing God.
On the survey, we were surprised that fully six in ten kids said they consider whether God sees everything they do when they’re tempted to do something that might be wrong.  And among those God-aware kids, six in ten also said that the fact that God might be disappointed in them was a bigger influence than whether their parents would be disappointed.  Parents can help such kids transition from fear of Mom and Dad to fear of God.

I (Lisa) saw this principle in action when I overheard my kids asking their dad if they could do something, and he answered, “You know your mom wouldn’t like that!”  Without looking up, I casually answered, “Oh, it’s not about me.  I’m not the ultimate One they have to answer to in the end.  They’ll have to talk to God about their choices.”  Later that night I was amazed when two of the girls separately came to me, saying that they felt God was urging them to be careful about certain friends and activities.  His view of their actions had a far greater effect on them than I realized. 

As we watch our cherished no-longer-little ones begin the process of flying free, what a comfort it is to entrust them to the One who made them and to know that he holds them securely in his hands.

Although it may be scary to watch your child venture toward adulthood as an independent person, one thing the kids said was scary for them was figuring out who on earth that independent person is.  That’s the subject of the next chapter. …

Excerpted from For Parents Only © 2007 by Veritas Enterprises, Inc.  Used by permission of WaterBrook Multnomah Publishing Group, a division of Random House, Inc.  Excerpt may not be reproduced without prior written consent.

Shaunti Feldhahn is a nationally syndicated newspaper columnist, public speaker, and a best-selling author whose books include For Women Only.  After working on Wall Street and Capitol Hill, this mother of two not applies her analytical skills to illuminating surprising truths about relationships.

Lisa A. Rice is the associate editor of Christian Living magazine, the mother/foster mom of three teenage girls and one teenage boy, and an experienced screenwriter and producer.  She’s also the coauthor, with Shaunti, of For Young Women Only and a movie reviewer for Crosswalk.com.