Grounds for Biblical Divorce
- Thursday, July 18, 2013
8. If you have proper grounds for a divorce, then you have proper grounds to remarry (1 Corinthians 7:15, 39).
9. If your previous partner has remarried, reconciliation is impossible. There is freedom to remarry.
10. In certain cases it is God's will to remain unmarried (1 Corinthians 7:10-11).
11. When a marriage is irrevocably marred and broken it may well be time for both parties to consider simply picking up the pieces and starting over again (John 8:1-12).
Remember how Jesus gave a second chance to the woman caught in adultery (John 8:1-12). He helped her to pick up the pieces of her broken life and start over again.
Jesus is still in the business of helping people pick up the pieces of their broken lives so that their best days are ahead!
So, Let's Practice.
I have repeated below some of the marriage and cohabitation questions I have recently received at Ask Roger. Take a few moments, just for fun, and think about how you might handle each one. Some are easy. Others are inscrutably difficult.
“What if I am married to a person with an incurable personality disorder that I never should have married in the first place, whose aberrant behavior is destroying our family? Is it OK for me to get a divorce?”
“What if I can handle my spouse’s angry and belittling verbal abuse—but I see my children being mentally and emotionally destroyed before my very eyes?”
“What if my husband puts a gun in my mouth and threatens to shoot me?”
- “What if I don’t love my spouse anymore?”
I've heard Christians say, "Well, I don't love him anymore." Not loving someone has never been grounds for divorce. The Bible says that we are to love our wives/husbands. If you can't do that, then love her/him as your neighbor. If you can't love her/him as a neighbor, then love your enemy.
“What if my spouse is involved in illegal behavior (gambling, drugs, gun running, etc) which could get us all in trouble?”
“My husband divorced me for another and I'm really praying that God will break them up and bring him back to me."
"One month after I got married to the father of my two youngest children I found out he was having an affair.… He moved another women into his home….after about six months of rejection i filed for divorce. Our divorce will be finial in man's eyes. my question is in references to Matthew 19: 3-11. Can I re-marry? Will it be adultery? Will any future marriage be cursed? Did I do the right thing?
"When I became a Christian I learned that I had no Biblical grounds for my divorce. In order to make things right should I divorce my new wife in order to return to the old one?"
"In my culture polygamy is both allowed and encouraged. The missionary told me that the Bible says that we are to have only one wife and family. I have three wives and nineteen children. Is he right? If I choose one, the others will be put on the street with no support. What should I do?"
"I have been taught in my church that it is ok to leave someone who is abusing you and be separated, but it is not ok to get divorced and marry someone else (unless widowed.)."
"If God doesn't recognize divorce, and marriage is a covenant, how can someone get remarried?"
"I'm told if your first spouse is alive, you are committing adultery if you remarry."
"Is it OK to have sex with my ex?"
"My boyfriend likes looking at porn more than he likes having sex with me. What should I do?"
- "I married my then spouse for all the wrong reasons. I thought things would change after the marriage, but they got worse. My then spouse confessed he didn't believe in God and he brought all types of evils into our family. After many failed attempts to get him to join a church or get counseling I decided it only be wise to leave him. My concern is on remarrying, we were married in a court building, not on biblical grounds. So am I able to remarry if I cleanse myself, repent for those sins?"
When I talk to high school and college kids on the subject of marriage I ask them to raise their hands if they intend to get married some day. Most all hands go up. Then I ask how many have actually seen the type of marriage they would like to have? A few hands raise. Not many.
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