Nothing Grown Up - or Funny - about Grown Ups 2
- Monday, July 15, 2013
If only there was a likable character, someone the audience could root for... but no. Lenny is such a pitiful excuse of a man even his good intentions don't make up for his lack of inner strength. He does try to man up at the end, but it's too little, too late. Eric (Kevin James, Zookeeper) is a big baby who runs to mommy when his wife doesn't pamper him. Marcus (David Spade, Jack and Jill) is a loser afraid to live up to his responsibilities. Kurt (Chris Rock, I Think I Love My Wife) is so completely forgettable he's impossible to describe. No role models among the leads, while the supporting characters are more caricatures than real people, and offensive ones at that.
My advice: be a grown up and avoid Grown Ups 2.
CAUTIONS (may contain spoilers):
- Drugs/Alcohol: School bus driver shown driving while impaired; he references getting “medications” from a doctor he met at a party. He is clearly under the influence of something for the rest of the film. Considerable drinking; high school boys crash a college beer bust. A drunken college girl gives underage boys a beer but they pour it out with one stating he’s “not ready for beer” which makes them the most mature characters in the film. The boys fake being drunk to fit in at the party. Drunk college boys drive up and hand boy in adjacent car a beer; adult in that car later seen drinking it. Home comes equipped with special table to hide alcoholic beverages from wife. Men shown playing drinking games; pregnant woman joins in though we don’t see her drink. Dog drinks beer through tube. A doctor says the cure for anger is “Jack Daniels” and drinks from flask in front of patients. Father tries to give small daughter cough syrup to put her to sleep, but she refuses; another indication the children are more grown up than their parents in this lame excuse for a story.
- Language/Profanity: Profanity mostly limited to da** and he** but there are numerous reference to genitalia (a**, di**, bal**, pen**, and so on). The tone of most of the dialogue is more disturbing than the actual words used: no one shows any respect for anyone else. Grown men tease another man, not in a friendly way. Bullying, insults, hostile name-calling, and general disregard for others permeate the entire film.
- Sex/Nudity: Most of the “plot” (such as it is), dialogue, and what must be meant as humorous situations revolve around sex. Multiple sight gags involving urinating and defecating. Married couple shown in bed; mailman comments on woman’s bra and high-fives husband due to its size. Man has child he didn’t know about and isn’t sure at first who the mother is (due to number of former partners). Veiled references (by children!) to masturbation. Man refers to “eating a banana with my butt.” Men fondly refer to “hooking up with chicks” in high school. Woman claims (sarcastically) that her toddler is her lover. Perverted maintenance man crashes exercise class and gets women to jiggle body parts for his pleasure. Many suggestive comments and innuendos. Police officer says dance instructor suggestively crawling on floor during children’s dance recital is “disturbing the peace in my pants.” One character admits to being gay; later a closeted gay man comes out and tries to kiss him but ends up with his tongue in the dog’s mouth instead. Several male backsides shown and multiple men in their underwear. Revealing clothing worn by exercise class, female swimmers, a dance instructor, party-goers, and a bevy of cheerleaders, male and female. Several fights involve close contact with male crotch area. One (naked) man in pond claims another (naked) man jumped on him (from cliff) by complaining “I was inside you.” Intoxicated man strips to boxers in store and climbs into display bed. Unpleasant camera angle of male gym teacher climbing a rope in short shorts shows parts of his nether regions; there’s a reference to his “Easter eggs.” The car wash scene referenced above is downright nasty, with suggestive behavior by both male and female cheerleaders, but mostly male. Some report the male cheerleader’s outfits show glimpses of pubic hair but I confess to having to look away so cannot speak to that. At a party a male wearing nothing but “tighty-whities” (which are neither tight nor white since they bear a disturbing stain) wallows on kitchen counter making eyes at another man. A buck deer pins a man down and chews on stuffed animal held in crotch area. One particularly buff woman is thought by other women to actually be a man; they reference her having male genitalia. There may be more—the sex/nudity issues were virtually nonstop—but those are the highlights, as it were.
- Violence: There’s a lot of slapstick-style violence. Large buck deer in house not so much frightening as mildly amusing. Teen boy whips out knife and cuts head off teddy bear. Intoxicated man suspended by ropes in school bus;driver slams on brakes to make him slide down aisle and crash into rear of bus. Boy breaks leg in football accident; another boy later slams that leg (in a cast) down on table. Dad yells at boy threatening to break his other leg. Toddler bites several people. Much bullying by kids and adults alike. Police officer draws weapon on his friends; they later drive down the street with sirens flashing, firing into air. Man in raft on top of bus is hit by a tree and pushed off bus while still in raft. Man throws ice cream scoop across room in a fit of temper, hitting woman and apparently knocking her out. Fraternity house is shown trashed, graffiti and debris scattered around. Frat boys chant “kill, kill” while their leader tries to explain they’re not supposed to kill each other. There’s a huge brawl between several hundred adults and college kids; much punching, kicking (often in groin), etc. Man throws college boy over house; no way to tell what happens to him when he lands. Vomiting, often projectile, throughout film. Most of the people in the film behave in exactly the kinds of ways generally frowned upon by parents, such as: skateboarding across the roof and into the pool; exchanging insults and picking fights; disrespecting everyone in sight; taking unnecessary risks; and acting with no thought for the consequences.
Publication date: July 15, 2013
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