Encouragement for Today
“Lost that Lovin’ Feelin’?”
Sharon Jaynes, Vice President of Proverbs 31 Ministries Radio, Proverbs 31 Speaker Team Member
Revelation 2:4, “Yet I hold this against you: You have forsaken your first love.” (NIV)
What do you do when you’ve lost that lovin’ feelin’? Maybe you truly adored your husband in the beginning, but now you can’t remember why. Maybe you honestly admired his finer qualities, but now you can’t remember what they were. Maybe you deeply appreciated his wonderful attributes, but you can’t see them now. What do you do?
Here’s a statistic you might find interesting. According to an analysis of the National Survey of Families and Households, 86 percent of unhappily married people who stick it out, find that, five years later, their marriages are happier. In fact, nearly 90 percent of those who rated their marriage as unhappy in the late 1980s, and who stayed married, rated their same marriage “very happy” or “quite happy” when re-interviewed five years later. In comparison, those who divorced and remarried divorced again at a rate of 60 percent. So, starting over may very well be the answer – as long as it’s with the same man!
As I read God’s lament in Revelation, I whispered a prayer, “Oh, Lord, how many of us women have forgotten our first love? We’ve forgotten the thrill we felt when we first met our husbands – the spine-tingling chills when he walked into a room, the heart-skipping flutter when he called on the phone, the tender wooing when we opened a letter penned by his hand, the electricity of sexual desire stirred with a kiss. Somewhere between taking out the garbage, paying the bills, running the carpool, mowing the lawn, disciplining the kids, and folding the laundry – somewhere among the mundane routine of life – we’ve lost the romance.”
How do we get it back? God gave the church two simple steps for the Bride of Christ to renew her passion for her Beloved, and I believe we can apply the same principles to renewing our passion for the man of our dreams.
Step 1: Remember
Step 2: Return
Remember what drew you to your husband in the first place. Remember how you tried to please him, capture his heart, and win his affection? That may have been 50 pounds and a full head of hair ago, but that young man who longed to be adored, admired, and appreciated still lives within his heart. He wants to know if he still “has what it takes.” Let him know that he does.
Everyone loves a good love story. Tell your children the story of how you first met and fell in love. Remember special days such as your first date, your first kiss, or when you first realized he was the man you wanted to marry. On your anniversary, listen to a tape or watch a video of your wedding day. Steve and I celebrate not only our wedding anniversary, but also the day he asked me to marry him. I’m sure our son gets tired of hearing the story time and time again, but he’s never doubted that his parents are crazy about each other. In fact, Martin Luther once said, “Let the wife make the husband glad to come home, and let him make her sorry to see him leave.”
My Prayer for Today:
Dear Lord, stir in me that passion I had in the early days of my marriage. Remind me of the qualities that drew me to him in the beginning. I know that my love for my husband is an overflow of my love for You. Therefore, ignite the passion for my love for You anew. Fan the embers of my heart into a roaring blaze. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.
In the Song of Solomon, the bride drenched her beloved in words of admiration. In chapter 1, verse 16, she begins with:
“How handsome you are, my lover! Oh, how charming! And our bed is verdant.”
Read through the Song of Solomon, noticing how the bride praised her beloved (especially his body). Consider writing such a song to your beloved! You won’t be sorry! It could be an opportunity to share a few romantic moments with him to let him know he still “has what it takes.”
Here are a few ways you can show your husband that you adore him:
- Let him hear you thank God for him.
- Hug and kiss him several times a day.
- Smile and wink at him.
- Don’t interrupt when he’s telling a story.
- Compliment him in front of others.
- Praise and compliment him in front of the children.
- Tell him you appreciate his hard work.
- Make him a coupon booklet with items that can only be fulfilled by you. I’ll let you come up with the ideas.
- Make his favorite dinner often.
- End each phone conversation, no matter how brief, with “I love you.”
Song of Solomon 2:3,5, “Like an apple tree among the trees of the forest is my lover among the young men. I delight to sit in his shade, and his fruit is sweet to my taste … Strengthen me with raisins, refresh me with apples, for I am faint with love.”
Proverbs 5:18, “Rejoice in the wife of your youth.” (NASB)
Malachi 3:7, “’Return to Me and I will return to you,’ says the Lord of Hosts.” (NASB)
1 Corinthians 13:8, “Love never fails.” (NASB)
Becoming the Woman of His Dreams, by Sharon Jaynes
Capture His Heart, by Lysa TerKeurst
Crazy Little Thing Called Love(audio tape), by Art and Lysa TerKeurst