June 8, 2009
The Other Woman
Cheri Bunch, She Speaks! Graduate
“For this cause a man shall leave his father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife; and they shall become one flesh.”
Genesis 2:24 (NASV)
Our son Luke is in college and has just moved into his first home. I have been receiving many calls from him lately.
“Mom, how do you make fruit salad?”
“What do you use to get spaghetti stains out?”
“What setting should I wash my good jeans on?”
And the list goes on. It makes me smile when I get one of these calls. I realize that I am the woman in his life right now. He still looks to me for advice, counsel, direction and support. The Lord hasn’t brought the one who will take my place into his life yet, that we know of. But I am sure she is on her way.
When she comes into Luke’s life, it is not that I will not be important to my son anymore. I will always be his mom. He will always love me and remember me as a big important part of his life, but I will no longer be “the woman” of his life. That role must be turned over to someone else.
My husband is the older of two sons in a family with no daughters. I was the woman who “took” him away from his mother. It has been a rough transition, and now I am experiencing it from the other side. I believe this is one the hardest transitions in life. It is so important to realize that God has ordained that this transition take place – see today’s verse. It is one of the pillars that makes a house a home and a family secure, but it is difficult.
Women have such a power of influence. It is a strength that God endowed us with and we can use it for good or for evil. When there is a mother and a wife in a man’s life, the wife is to be the dominant influence. As a wife, I know this has been important to my marriage. But as a mother, I cringe at the thought of letting go.
Our older son, Caleb, has found the girl meant to be his lifetime soul mate. We are going through this tearing away process as I write. It is so important and I am so proud of him, but it is very hard for me.
I am soaking up my limited time with Luke. I realize that the wife he chooses might have a better fruit salad recipe, a different way of removing spaghetti stains, and perhaps will wash her good jeans in hot water, and I must rest from my ways and be content with hers. I hope that I will be the kind of mother-in-law that will look for the good in my son’s wives. I want to encourage my boys and tell them what a good choice they made, and thank them for waiting for her. I will encourage them as couples and tell them that they are great parents.
And perhaps my new “daughters” will call me someday and ask me how I make my fruit salad, and how I remove certain stains, and what setting I wash my jeans on. I will be so happy to share my secrets with them.
Dear Lord, thank You for the sons You have given me. Help me enjoy the time I have as being the most important woman in their lives. Help me to use my influence wisely. When the woman You have chosen for them comes along, help me to surrender to Your plan. Help me to be an encouragement to them in every way. I pray that I will not feel threatened but may our relationship be one of love and respect for one another. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.
Use the extra time you have from an empty nest to invest in your marriage! Love Notes on His Pillow: And Other Everyday Ways to Keep Your Love Alive by Linda Gilden
Or invest in a friendship! I'll bring the Chocolate: Satisfying a Woman's Craving for Friendship and Faith by Karen Porter
Join us for more Everyday Life encouragement
Enjoy every season that God has ordained for you as a mom.
Are you available when your son calls with how-to questions?
Do you know that you will always be a pillar in the home and that you will always be an integral part of your children’s lives even though a new pillar may be added?
Are you a daughter-in-law struggling with a mom that is having a hard time letting go?
Do you have a small son? Can you imagine releasing him to someone else?
Proverbs 31:25, “Strength and dignity are her clothing, and she smiles at the future.” (NASV)
© 2009 by Cheri Bunch. All rights reserved.
Proverbs 31 Ministries
616-G Matthews-Mint Hill Road
Matthews, NC 28105