Refusal to Work
"For even when we were with you, we gave you this rule: 'If a man will not work, he shall not eat.'" 2 Thessalonians 3:10 NIV
Thoughts for Today
If you have chosen to provide a home for your adult child, then it becomes his (or her) responsibility to provide some compensation for you. If he works, he should always pay a reasonable amount of room and board on a monthly basis. You should not provide free living conditions for an adult child who refuses to work. (Read Proverbs 6:6-11.)
God wants each of us to develop a sense of responsibility and to do our part. If you let your adult child take advantage of you, not only do you suffer for it but your child does as well. Allowing him to shirk responsibility enables him to continue living in irresponsible ways.
Of course, there might be special circumstances—perhaps your child is in school fulltime and you have agreed to help for a set period of time. Or he might have health problems. In these and similar types of extenuating circumstances, helping by providing free room and board may be the right thing to do.
It is desirable, if possible, to provide separate living quarters, and even a separate entrance, within your home for your child's use. You need and have a right to your privacy, and so does he. If this type of arrangement is available, your relationship with your adult child is likely to be much more pleasant.
Father, help us plan these living arrangements in such a way that is pleasing to you. Help my child to grow in a sense of responsibility during this time, rather than decline. Help me to resist the temptation to "baby" my child. I know that is not in our best interests—and is not pleasing to you. In Jesus' name …
These thoughts were drawn from…
Godly Parenting: Parenting Skills at Each Stage of Growth by N. Elizabeth Holland, M.D. This study addresses parenting skills from the time of conception until the child has reached adulthood. It suggests methods for raising healthy, godly children in an increasingly secular society. Specific emphasis is placed on communication and teaching skills, discipline, protection and sexual issues at each age. Note: This curriculum was written especially for small groups, and we encourage people to use it that way. However, it can also be used effectively as a personal study for individuals or couples.
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