by Dennis and Barbara Rainey

Colossians 2:2 (NCV)
I want them to be strengthened and joined together with love. I want them to be rich in the strong belief that comes from understanding.

True partnerships are cemented-"joined together" in Paul's terms-as couples frequently and specifically verbalize their needs for each other. But at some point in time, between the walk down the wedding aisle and the fifth anniversary, a thief often makes off with our mutual admission of interdependence. Isn't it ironic that marriage, the ultimate declaration of one person's dependence on another, so often winds up being an accomplice to the thief?

Think back to those early days of romance and intrigue. You needed each other then, and you still do. You need her for a balanced and truthful view of yourself. You need him for a full-color view of life since he looks at life through a different set of lenses.

Often during marriage you begin looking at your differences as hindrances rather than benefits. You are a broader person because of these differences. Why try to change your mate when you need these differences?

You need her to believe in you when others don't and you can't. She is your mirror of positive acceptance, expectancy, praise and the belief that you are as significant as ever, though perhaps in different ways. You need him to multiply your laughter, share your tears and add his experience with God to yours.

You need each other to raise healthy and balanced children. Two people tempering one another's weaknesses complement each other's blind spots and help accentuate one another's strong points as they raise children together.

Beware of living independently of one another. Sometimes busy people build their lives around activities only to find, years later, that they are alone. Imprisoned by selfishness and a failure to take risks, they live independently of the person God has sovereignly given them to share life with. You really do need your mate.

Prayer:

That God's Spirit will keep the two of you cemented together, expressing and fulfilling mutual needs.

Discuss: Make a list of 5 to 10 specific ways you need your mate. Use your list to compose a letter to him or her, expressing your needs. Or take a long walk and talk over the list together.

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