Behind Closed Doors
Let her breasts satisfy you at all times; be exhilarated always with her love. PROVERBS 5:19
One night, one of our teenagers came into our bedroom and said to us, "You know, it really bugs me that you shut the door to your room at 10:00 or 10:30 every night. I feel like you're shutting us out of your lives."
We replied that this was by design! Being alone with each other gives us a chance to talk and to know each other better. Of course, neither of us explained how we might be "knowing" each other on any given night, but Barbara and I understand that we need the opportunity for intimacy—not just spiritually and relationally, but also sexually.
God intended for us to become one flesh, to be drawn together toward each other. Adam and Eve didn't just shake hands when they met each other in the garden and began their lives together. They had sexual intercourse with each other, and God blessed their union. Sex is not all there is to marriage, of course, but it is a vital dimension that we shouldn't always sacrifice to the pressures of life or even the incessant demands of our children.
God is not down on sexual pleasure in marriage. The verse above is not from Playboy 5:19 but from Proverbs 5:19—right there with all the more well-known nuggets of scriptural truth about fearing God and being kind to your neighbors and not spending money you don't have. God even inspired an entire book of the Bible—Song of Solomon—that talks about little other than sexual love in marriage.
No matter how our culture twists and perverts the idea of sex, and no matter how squeezed we may feel by our children's and others' expectations, we need to keep our sexual relationship central and celebrated. That's the way God designed it.
In light of the demands of children, discuss what you must both do to protect this important area of your marriage.
Pray that God will give you wisdom to know how best to meet one another's needs in this area.