1 Cor 3:6-7: "I planted, Apollos watered, but God was causing the growth. So then neither the one who plants nor the one who waters is anything, but God who causes the growth" (NASU).
We can put a lot of pressure on ourselves to produce "successful" kids, and there is no question parenting requires a lot of hard work. But, what exactly is our role in the process? In this passage, Paul explains the role of a teacher. We believe it applies just as well in the family.
Parents are God's representatives in the family, and that role is crucially important. In the end, however, we have to surrender the results to God because He is the One "who causes the growth". He will grow our children into His design. While it is difficult to let go of our "design" and surrender our kids to God, it is God's will that they grow less dependent on us and more dependent on Him.
You cannot force your child to grow up to be a Godly person, but you can be a Godly parent. Use experience, example and exploration to "plant and water", and surrender the results to God.