an inspirational entry about life after 20-something marriage
I went into marriage young, naïve, and eager to sleep every night in the bed with the man I loved.
I was just 23.
I spent the first 6 months, enjoying the bliss. I burnt the dinner, but he didn't care. I decorated our apartment with all my favorite pictures of the two of us. He kicked off the covers at night, while I gently pulled them back. I was sure marriage would be everything I ever wanted it to be and things between us would never change.
But one day things felt different. One day I woke up and realized, this marriage thing is kind-of hard.
Our moods seemed to be on different schedules. We had to share things we were used to keeping for ourselves. We gave grace, but only on our terms. We had to fight to stay on the same page.
Years later, things look very much the same.
Our moods are still incompatible at times. Our flesh still wants us to be selfish. Our thoughts, feelings and ideals often look like polar opposites.
But the one constant that has kept us together is our commitment. Through all the mood swings, incompatibilities and seasonal changes, it is the element of our marriage that has needed to remain the same.
At times, it's been inconvenient to be committed. At times, it's been annoying. At times, it's felt like an insurmountable goal. At times, it's been the singular reason we have continued to work things out, even when we didn't want to...to give when we'd rather take...to stay faithful to the vows we said in front of 500 people and Jesus, when I was just 23.
It's been the difference between living a life together or living one apart.
Married friends, take heart. Your commitment can keep you when you most want to bail.
Single friends, take note. Value the importance of commitment before you even start.
It is the love that will lead you to each other. It is the commitment that will keep it possible.
Proverbs 16:3: Commit to the LORD whatever you do, and he will establish your plans.
An independent woman with a messy shoe-filled closet, Lisa Whittle still marvels at her ability to stay married for over 15 years. Her commitments include bubble baths with a locked door, dental floss by her bed, and trying to always stay open and honest. So far, it's working. :) For more honest conversation, head over to www.lisawhittle.com.
© 2011 by Lisa Whittle. All rights reserved.