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Casually Breaking Your Heart - She Seeks - Week of July 8

  • 2013 Jul 08
  • COMMENTS

{casually breaking your heart}

an inspirational entry from a girl who is sick of relationship games

Casual dating. I think that's the biggest oxymoron I've ever heard. How can something as serious as a romantic relationship ever be considered "casual"? And yet I hear the phrase tossed around all the time. "Well, yeah we're dating, but it's pretty casual. I dunno. We'll see what happens." Or, "Yeah, I don't really like him, but he asked me out, so here we are."

Don't be deceived into thinking this is just a "Hollywood culture" mentality. It has infiltrated our churches. When I confided to a Christian friend that a guy friend of mine was trying to get me to go out with him, this is the opinion she shared with me: "Well, he sounds like a pretty sweet guy and you seem to get along well with him. I don't see any harm in two friends casually hanging out and maybe grabbing a cup of coffee."

Really? Well, then I think I'll just wear a flashing, neon sign that reads: "Hey, I like you back, so keep pursuing me!" That might be a little more subtle. After all, the old adage is true; actions do speak louder than words.

The truth is, I could easily go on a date with this guy and remain completely unaffected, but I wasn't worried about me; I was worried about him. He's the one whose heart is at stake.

When a friend of mine broke up with his girlfriend, she confessed that she hadn't known if she really liked him, but figured dating him was the only way to find out. Then she got upset with him when he accused her of playing with his heart.

I think he had a right to be upset. You know, it is okay to tell a guy, "I'll think about it," or better yet, "I'll pray about it." After all, it's always a good idea to invite God into the scenario right up front. I wonder how much heartache my friend could have been spared had his girlfriend taken a moment to pray instead of just saying yes.

But no, we don't pray about it. We simply do what our feelings are leading us to do and "follow our hearts." That's probably the worst advice you ever received from Disney. Did you know that the Bible tells us that our hearts are deceitful and desperately wicked? Let's face it — we're selfish, and our hearts are only catering to our own needs.

So, as a girl who's a friend of many a guy, I'm begging you, please, please be careful with the hearts of the men around you. Relationships are not a game. And there is nothing casual about breaking a man's heart.

Resources...

The Bible

"The human heart is the most deceitful of all things, and desperately wicked. Who really knows how bad it is?" — Jeremiah 17:9 (NLT)

Rebekah Snyder was raised with three brothers and all of their friends, so you may often catch her hanging out with guys, but never casually dating. Relationships is a subject that both irks and enthralls her. You can read more about her dating/waiting/living experience at http://beyondwaiting.wordpress.com/.

Check in with Rebekah over at She Seeks.

© 2011 by Rebekah Synder. All rights reserved.

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