July 5, 2013
Settling for Second Best
By Skip Heitzig
“Does God have a perfect mate for me out there?”
That’s a question I’ve been asked a lot, and my answer is “No and yes.” No one is perfect, but I believe God has someone specifically picked out for you, to bring you to complete fulfillment.
The Scripture says, “The steps of a good man are ordered by the Lord, and He delights in his way” (Psalm 37:23). And it says in Genesis 2:22 that God “brought her [Eve] to the man [Adam].” So I think God intervenes in a person’s life, and He will take the initiative to bring the right mate to you, someone suited for you.
You can begin praying and preparing now, even though you haven’t met that person. Even if you aren’t dating, you can prepare by praying so that when you do meet, you can begin establishing a beautiful relationship in the Lord.
“But what do I do in the meantime? Do I just sit back and wait for someone to walk up and say, ‘Hi; God told me I’m supposed to marry you’? Or do I go to the other extreme and go hunting, hand out applications, require a financial statement? What do I do? What’s the balance?”
Be actively involved but be cautious; make sure it’s the Lord bringing you together. That’s why it’s best to go out with groups, and watch that person’s interaction with others. Then seek the Lord to see if you are to get involved in a closer, dating relationship. That usually works much better.
When I was single, I got to the point where I was saying, “Lord, when are you going to provide?” And I came across Psalm 37:4 which says, “Delight yourself also in the Lord, and He shall give you the desires of your heart.” I reached a point of frustration where I said, “I give up. I’m not going to go any longer seeking a wife. I’m just going to seek the Lord and forget this nonsense.” Then I found that my heart became pure. And it was at that point that God blessed me with a wife because I was delighting then in Him!
You see, many times people are delighting in their own desires, and they want God’s desires to conform with theirs. If not, they get mad. What they’re saying is, “My kingdom come, my will be done in heaven as it is on earth.” Instead, they should be saying, “Lord, I’m just going to seek you. You know best, and Your timing is best. I’ll be open and actively involved, but I won’t let it destroy my fellowship with you.”
Why is this important? It’s important so that we don’t settle for second best.
Before I met Lenya, I was engaged to another girl. I didn’t know Lenya was out there! And I am so glad I didn’t settle for second best—and that other girl didn’t settle for second best (me). God had the best picked out for both of us.
So if you’re still waiting out there, I hope this example will encourage you. Just continue to seek Him. He really does know best!
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